


Life As We Knew It

by Malliday



Series: Rom Coms Remixed [4]
Category: The 100 (TV), The 100 Series - Kass Morgan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bickering, Cryptic Flashbacks, Eventual Smut, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Graphic Designer Clarke, History Channel TV Producer Bellamy, Life As We Know It AU, Raising a Baby Together That's Not Theirs, RomComREMIX, Sexual Tension, Snark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-16
Updated: 2019-10-06
Packaged: 2020-10-19 13:03:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 25,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20657699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Malliday/pseuds/Malliday
Summary: This wasn't the plan.Harper was her rock. Her best friend.But she was gone and now Jordan needed her.And Bellamy too, apparently.Bellamy, who she couldn't stand to look at without a multitude of memories resurfacing and causing her heart to race, and not in an entirely bad way.But this wasn't the plan.How was she supposed to do this?Raise a child with the man she couldn't figure out, even when they were both single and childless?How long could they do this before all the feelings she thought she'd long since buried came to the surface again?





	1. Her Superpower

**Author's Note:**

> It's heeeeeeeerrrreeee!
> 
> \- See you on the flip side ;)

**Her Superpower **

**Current Day - September 2019**

Pulling her cardigan more tightly to her form, Clarke looked both ways before crossing the dark street, the lamp posts on the sidewalk offering the only light by which she could see.

The bar was noisy, even from the outside, and the light outside flickered ceaselessly, occasionally casting the shadows of the bugs flying around the bulb inside.

Looking through the window from the outside, she could see that Murphy was behind the bar this evening.

Internally, she cheered, knowing that meant he would be too busy working to actually intermingle with the friend group too much.

Her inner voice that sounded suspiciously like Harper scolded her for even thinking that.

_ He’s not so bad, Clarke. He’s changed a lot over the years. _

Clarke rolled her eyes at her friend’s internal presence in her mind.

_ Besides, _ Clarke mused to herself. _ He’s definitely not going to be the worst part of your evening. _

She sighed, mentally bracing herself with her hand wrapped around the door handle, before she opened the door, allowing the noise inside to drift out into the quiet of the night.

The lights were blissfully dulled for the evening and she barely had to adjust before she looked around for her friends.

Of course, they were in the expected location, tucked into the back corner of the bar where the big, round booth sat.

They loved the booth.

It was spacious and wooden, offering plenty of space for their little group. The booth was their _ spot. _

“Clarke!” she heard her name being called from the vicinity of the group.

When she looked up, she noted that the greeting had come from Harper who was grinning and waving her hand around trying to get her attention.

As if she didn’t immediately see them when she walked in.

She nodded as she weaved between the tables scattered on the floor and tried to discretely make note of who was in attendance.

Harper… Monty… Octavia and Lincoln (Of course)... Miller… Emori…

And that was it.

She exhaled a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding and quickly averted her eyes to Harper’s, hoping against all hopes that no one noticed her studious attention to the people sitting around the table.

However, when her eyes found her best friend’s, she knew that she wasn’t fooling her in the slightest.

“Hey, friend.” Harper greeted cheekily. “We were beginning to worry.”

Clarke sighed as she slid into the space next to her, unwrapping the scarf from around her neck and laying it on the wooden bench beside her.

“Yeah well, we had a meeting to sort through the Novant campaign and that asshole Finn decided to take more than his allotted time to give his presentation.” she rolled her eyes. “Not that it made any difference. They uh- They decided to go with my design.” 

Harper’s eyes widened and she grinned, throwing her arms around her friend in elation.

“Clarke!! That’s AMAZING! Guys!” she turned to the whole group whose eyes snapped up at her obvious excitement. “Clarke’s design was chosen for their new campaign!”

Everyone grinned, many reaching up to offer a high five and a congratulations.

“That’s great, Clarke!” Octavia said, smiling. “Although, not surprising in the slightest.” she winked.

Clarke could feel her cheeks blushing under the attention of her friends’ praise.

“Thanks, you guys. I’m pretty excited.” she bit down on her bottom lip.

“Well, this calls for a second night of celebration!” Miller announced, raising his glass in cheers. “Tonight, we celebrate Octavia and Lincoln, and tomorrow, we reconvene for Clarke’s glory!”

Everyone cheered and raised their glass in agreement, but Clarke shook her head, laughing.

“Not a chance. Tonight is special, in honor of those two.” Clarke pointed to the beaming couple over her glass. “But tomorrow? I’ll be far too busy with my campaign.”

Miller pouted somewhat and before she could console his obvious disappointment, she felt something heavy fall onto the bench beside her.

“Of course you will be. Fun is far too much to expect from you. Especially on the weekend.”

Her eyes closed instinctively, annoyance festering behind her eyeballs as she struggled to maintain her composure.

“Well, some of us have responsibilities. Can’t be off galivanting with the masses every night in search of yet another meaningless night of sex.”

She felt his body shake as he chuckled, the leg of his jeans unintentionally scratching against her own, and she pulled her leg in closer to herself, trying her damndest to remain unaffected.

“Meaning is in the eye of the beholder, Princess.” suddenly she felt him lean in closer, his mouth just beside her ear, almost close enough to touch. “And I assure you my nights are anything but meaningless.”

Rolling her eyes, she finally tilted her eyes to meet his, glaring spitefully at that infuriating smirk firmly plastered on his face.

She opened her mouth to respond, but the sound of Octavia clearing her throat had them both turning their heads in her direction.

“As lovely as it is to watch the two of you spew angry nonsense at one another all night, tonight is about my husband and I celebrating the fact that our family is about to have a little person.” She said with a raised eyebrow. “You can continue this on your own time.”

Clarke instantly felt guilty.

“I’m so sorry, Octavia. I didn’t-”

Octavia held up a hand.

“No apologies necessary. Normally I love watching the two of you go at one another like jungle cats in an effort to hide your obvious attraction to one another, but tonight is not normal.”

Clarke’s face twisted in distaste, prepared to defend herself when Bellamy elbowed her in the side and held up the glass that Murphy had apparently delivered to him.

“Here here, sis. To little person Blake!”

Everyone raised their glasses yet again and she falt Harper lean over to whisper in her ear.

“Any reason in particular why you still haven’t talked to Bellamy about-”

Clarke straightened herself, turning to her other side to face Harper head on, Monty sipping his drink beside her.

“Speaking of little people!” she said cheerfully, completely ignoring Harper’s comment. “Where is little person Green this evening?”

Harper smirked at her transparent effort to change the subject, in spite of Monty’s cluelessness as he answered.

“He’s home with a babysitter tonight.” he chuckled. “Took every tool in my arsenal to get her out of the house without him.”

Harper sighed, leaning bodily back into her husband, chewing on her bottom lip nervously.

“I can’t help it. He _ just _ turned one. He still needs us.”

“He’ll always need you.” Bellamy said from behind her, his deep voice closer to her than she anticipated causing her to jolt slightly.

She peered over her shoulder to see Bellamy looking around her at their friends.

“She knows.” Monty said as Clarke turned back around. “And so do I. It’s just… Hard, man. You’ll see one day.”

She could feel Bellamy tense behind her, and her eyes drifted to the glass in his hand where he was clenching and unclenching it in his grip.

“Yeah.” He mumbled, his voice trailing off.

Clarke cleared her throat.

“How was it the two of you became best friends, Monty? You couldn’t be more different if you tried.” She asked in a sweet voice, ignoring the snort from Bellamy against her side.

Monty chuckled, shooting a look Bellamy’s way that she couldn’t quite decipher.

“Well, you see, there was this girl who-”

“Clarke and I are going to play darts.” she startled as she suddenly found herself lifted from the bench, Bellamy’s arm around her bicep as he guided her to the dart board in the back corner of the bar.

“Darts?” she asked incredulously. “Are we.. _ friends _ now?”

She watched Bellamy roll his eyes as he picked up the three darts from underneath the bullseye and walk them back to where she stood at the line on the floor.

“Not a chance, Princess.” he answered gruffly, turning to face the board and lining up his shot. “Just saving you from having to listen to a boring story about Monty’s first college crush.”

Eyeing him with interest, she tried to keep her attention on his shots and away from the way his t shirt clung to the muscles of his upper back, rippling as he flung the darts at the board.

“Uh huh.” She said, focusing so hard on her thoughts that she almost jumped yet again when suddenly he was in front of her, holding out the darts in his hand.

Swallowing, she grabbed them and stood in place behind the line, shivering slightly when she felt him approach her side to watch her turn.

“Whatever you say, Blake.” she muttered, throwing her dart with more force than necessary.

  
  
\-----  
  
  


On the way home, she could see her phone light up in her peripheral vision from its place in the cradle between her two front seats. A notification that popped up on the screen of her console told her it was a text from Harper.

She tapped ignore as she continued driving, only a few more minutes from her house.

No need in chancing an accident from being distracted.

Ahead of her, she noticed her neighbor Bree was outside with a group of friends playing ladder ball on the front lawn under the flood light from above the garage.

She nodded as she passed and Bree waved as she pulled into the driveway.

When she was finally in park, she picked up her phone from its resting place and swiped open the message from Harper.

Inhaling sharply, her eyes took in the picture her friend had sent.

It was of her and Bellamy from that night as they were playing darts.

In the picture, she was concentrating on her shot, eyeing the direction of her dart with half closed eyelids, but it was Bellamy who really caught her attention.

He was standing very close to her, their bodies barely an inch apart, and his eyes were on her, lingering on the back of her head as his hands hovered slightly in the air, almost as if he wanted to touch her, to position her for better aim.

But he never did.

**Harper: ** _ Maybe it’s time. _

She huffed, her head falling back against the headrest of her seat, her eyes drifting to the ceiling of the vehicle.

She loved Harper, honestly. They had been best friends since birth, practically, and because of that, her friend always thought she knew what was best for her.

_ Even when she was so very wrong. _

Clarke’s mind wandered, remembering that night five years ago and how sure Harper had been.

  


_ “Clarke, come on, give it another shot.” she pleaded. “I don’t know what was wrong, but that’s not the man I know. He-” _

_ “Harper.” Clarke cut her off, huffing as she punched the bag in front of her, releasing all her frustrations into the packed leather. “It was a mistake the first time. It’s definitely not going to happen a _ ** _second_ ** _ time.” _

_ She watched Harper sigh dramatically, holding on to the bag for dear life as her friend pounded away. _

_ “I just don’t get it.” she murmured to herself. “I know it’s right. It’s my _ ** _superpower, _ ** _ Clarke. I don’t understand what happened.” _

_ Clarke chuckled throwing another cross punch to the bag’s surface. _

_ “I think you’ve been watching too much Once Upon a Time, H.” she exhaled heavily with each punch, ignoring the way Harper’s eyes narrowed. _

_ “You’ll see.” Harper said, her voice promising and haughty. “I’m never wrong.” _

_ Clarke let a final flurry of uppercuts push her friend back slightly as the bell whistled signaling for a partner switch. _

_ “Yeah, yeah.” she said, gasping for air. “There’s a first time for everything.” _

  


The sudden sharp ring of her phone in her hand caused her to yelp and drop the device in her lap, staring at it as if it had burned her.

She swallowed heavily, still reeling from her memories, and picked it up to answer the unknown number.

Who the hell was calling her at 11:00 on a Friday night?

“Hello?” she asked, her voice betraying her obvious curiosity and simultaneous annoyance.

“Hello, is this Clarke Griffin?” a very crisp, professional voice asked on the other side of the line.

_ What the fuck? Am I being recruited to the CIA? _

“Um. Yes?” she responded, no longer annoyed, but concerned.

_ What’s going on? _

“Ms. Griffin, this is Nurse Freeland at Grace Memorial. Mam, you are listed as the emergency contact for a Mrs. Harper Green?”

Time stopped.

For a second, she didn’t breathe as the air around her turned stale in her mouth and her throat constricted painfully as she struggled to comprehend what the voice on the call was saying.

“...An accident...In the OR at the moment but...Do you know of family we could contact?”

Her ears were ringing painfully, her stomach gnarling inside as she stuttered out some semblance of a response.

“I-I’m so sorry. Wha-? I-” she mumbled, her hand flying to her head as her vision began to swim violently.

“Ms. Griffin? Why don’t we just speak when you get here?” the nurse asked kindly, her voice soothing and calm.

Clarke hung up without answering, her fingers flying across the screen, putting the hospital into her GPS and pulling back out of her driveway without another thought.

  
  
\-----  
  


There was an ambulance outside, its lights circling brightly in the night. Two paramedics were still unloading what appeared to be a man in his late 50s and rushing him inside the motion-sensored doors leading straight to the OR.

Her hands were shaking as she pushed the button to park her car and then again to turn it off, almost forgetting to lock it as she rushed to the public entrance under the large cement awning marked “EMERGENCY” in bright, red letters.

She tucked her keys into the back pocket of her jeans, still in her clothes from their night at the bar, and all but ran to the desk at the front.

“Harper Green” she gasped out, breathless, unsure of how she was still functioning at this point, having no information on what was going on.

“Clarke?!” a deep voice called from the other side of the lobby and her eyes snapped immediately to Bellamy’s. The sheer devastation in his eyes was all she needed to run in his direction and collapse into his arms as he held them out to her approaching form.

She sobbed into his t-shirt, clutching at the collar of it as her hands wound around his neck. Vaguely, she registered that his arms had wrapped around her too, pulling her tightly to his torso, his chin resting on the top of her head as she burrowed her face in the side of his neck.

“Shhh..” he murmured, his hands rubbing soothing circles on her back, the fabric of her shirt rising and falling with the action. “It’s okay. We’ll know something soon.”

After a few minutes, she was able to compose herself well enough to pull away and look into his face once more. His left hand left her waist and lifted to wipe away the tears from underneath her eyes.

“Bellamy, what’s going on?” her voice croaked as she spoke, obviously tired from her crying. “They- They didn’t tell me anything. Just that Harper was.. In an accident? What’s happening? Where’s Monty?” her eyes widened. “OH GOD! Bellamy! Where’s Jordan??”

Bellamy sighed, his hand dropping to her waist once more, squeezing once and pulling her into his side as he led her to two empty chairs next to the window.

“Jordan’s fine.” he consoled. “He was still at home with the babysitter when-”

He paused and Clarke took that moment to look in his direction.

His eyes were red, likely just as red as her own, and he had obviously put his own grief aside to offer her a literal shoulder to cry on.

Her heart beat faster as he spoke once more.

“When they had the accident.” she watched him swallow. “They were on their way home from the bar when they stopped at a four way intersection. They had just pulled into the intersection to cross the street when a car came speeding over the hill on their side and ran the stop sign, hitting them side-on.”

She sobbed again, her hand coming up to rest against her mouth as she contemplated the severity of the accident.

“They were hit on the driver’s side but the force of the impact spun them in circles until their car was wrapped around a light pole.” his hand fell to her own that was resting on her knee. “They’re in the operating room right now, but-”

It was like she couldn’t stop crying. She couldn’t imagine a world in which she would ever stop crying, either.

Not until Harper was beside her again, her brilliant, teasing smile giving her a hard time over her stubbornness.

At that moment, the door to the OR hallway opened and a man in surgeon’s scrubs walked out, mask pulled down from his face, a solemn look in place as he walked over to the nurse’s station.

They watched as the nurse pointed in their direction and Clarke felt an eerie calmness wash over her as the doctor walked in their direction.

Bellamy stood, pulling her with him, his hand still firmly wrapped around her own as they each braced themselves for what was about to happen.

“Hello.” he greeted. “You’re the family of Monty and Harper Green?”

She and Bellamy both nodded. There was a reason why the two of them were listed as Monty and Harper’s emergency contacts. Bellamy was the only family Monty had and Clarke Harper’s.

“We did everything we could, but.. Their injuries were too severe.”

A single tear slid down her cheek as she felt Bellamy collapse back into the chair he had just vacated, his hand still squeezing her own.

“It was a miracle that they made it to the hospital, I’m afraid.” the doctor continued, sighing, his expression troubled. “In the end, there is only so much trauma the human body can take.”

She felt herself nodding at the kindly older gentleman, her hand still encased in Bellamy’s.

“We will bring you their personal effects.” the doctor nodded as he stepped away, headed back toward the hallway from whence he came.

Bellamy’s hand slowly pulled away from hers and she looked up curiously, watching as he studiously avoided looking at her altogether.

“I’ll go grab them.” he walked away toward the nurse’s station and suddenly she felt desolate and empty, as if he had taken a piece of her with him.

“Bell!” she turned suddenly at the sound of Octavia’s worried voice to see her and Lincoln rushing through the automatic doors into the Emergency room.

She watched as Octavia tackled her brother with open arms and he lifted her off the ground.

Shakily exhaling, she ran her hands through her hair and braced herself as Octavia ran to her then, hugging her tightly as well.

Over her friend’s shoulder, her eyes welled up with more tears as first Miller then Emori and Murphy rushed inside the Emergency Room after them.

Her mind fogged with memories of the last time they were all here like this.

Only it had been under much happier circumstances.

  


* * *

  
  
  


**August 2018**

“Is it time?!” she yelled, rushing in through the doors of the Emergency Room to find Emori waiting there with a broad smile.

“Yepp! Let’s go! They’ve already transferred her to Labor and Delivery!”

Pulling on her hand, Emori led the two of them to the elevator and then to the fourth floor waiting room where the rest of the group was already congregated.

“Took you long enough, Griffin.” Bellamy said dryly from his position leaning over his lower half, elbows resting on his knees as he eyed her beneath the hair falling in front of his face.

She glared balefully at the man in the corner.

“Yes, how dare I allow after-work traffic on the highway to get in my way of my car. The audacity!” she waved her hands sarcastically. “Next time I’ll just teleport in front of unsuspecting mortals, instead.”

Bellamy chuckled, pushing his glasses further up his nose as he leaned back in his seat. She watched him cross his arms across his chest, her eyes drifting down to watch the veins in his forearms clench with the movement.

“Have you been watching my show, Princess?” he smirked knowingly and she felt herself flush at her own telling words.

“Absolutely not.” she denied fruitlessly. “Why anyone would watch a show that explores fictional characters to an embarrassing degree of thoroughness, I have no idea.”

Bellamy’s smile remained wide and unmoving.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night.” he mused. “You know if you would just admit that you find me dashingly charming and my show intellectually stimulating, we might be able to find some common ground.”

She rolled her eyes, leaning over to look down the hallway, hoping for an interruption from a doctor or nurse of some sort. 

“Because you finding _ yourself _ to be dashingly charming is a healthy starting ground for a-”

“Bellamy.” Octavia interrupted, teeth clenched. “A word?”

She watched the man in question eye his sister before he stood and joined her in the hallway outside. 

“Did they say how long it would be?” Clarke asked the remaining members of the room.

“Just that her contractions were close enough that it shouldn’t be long now.” Lincoln responded evenly, watching the television in the corner.

She nodded, chewing nervously on her bottom lip.

“Good. I can’t wait to meet him.” she grinned in excitement, her knee bouncing up and down nervously.

Bellamy and Octavia came back around the corner then, Bellamy’s brow furrowed as he collapsed in the chair he had vacated.

“So.” Octavia said cheerfully. “What’d we miss?”

  


\---

  


She knocked tentatively on the door to the hospital room and a tired voice inside said “Come in” beckoning her and Bellamy to enter into the room.

Walking around the edge of the wall, Harper and Monty came into view, both exhausted but happy, gazing down at their son with all the adoration and love in the world.

Clarke smiled, approaching the bed and holding her breath as she drew closer to the newborn baby.

“Hey” she said softly, her hands drifting to the white blanket on Harper’s lap. 

“Hey” Harper smiled brightly back at her. “Meet Jordan.” she whispered.

Clarke’s smile couldn’t get any wider as her fingers lightly stroked Jordan’s forehead, the soft hair on his forehead tickling the skin of her fingertips.

“Hey, Jordan.” she whispered, watching the sleeping baby’s eyelids flicker as he dreamed in his mother’s arms.

Out of the corner of her eye, she watched Bellamy approach Monty’s side, pulling him into a congratulatory hug.

“I’m so happy for you, man.” he said quietly.

“Thanks.” Monty said with a tired smile. “Wanna meet your godson?”

Bellamy and Clarke both looked up then.

Harper sighed, leaning her head back against the bed.

“Subtle.” she scolded Monty. “We were going to _ ask _ them, Monty.”

He grinned, eyebrows raised, before turning to Bellamy.

“Bellamy, brother of mine, best friend since freshman year of college and the only family I have - Will you be my son’s godfather?” he asked amusedly. “No pressure.”

Harper shook her head and turned to Clarke.

“Well. My husband is a graceless dork, but… Ditto.” she said quietly. “Will you be Jordan’s godmother, auntie Clarke?”

At that moment, she looked up, her gaze meeting Bellamy’s as they considered the enormity of the responsibility hanging before them, before they both smiled, turning to their friends.

“Of course, H.” Clarke said, tears stinging her eyes. “Nothing would make me happier.”

She never heard Bellamy’s answer but if the answering hug was anything to go by, she knew that she had a partner in all of this.

  


* * *

  
  
  


**Now**

  


For the second time that night, Clarke pulled into a driveway. Except the second time she did, it wasn’t her own.

It was Harper’s.

Somehow, she had made it to their home safely, but she didn’t really remember the trip.

Looking up at the imposing house, she exhaled slowly, taking in the massive windows that let in so much light during the day time.

It was so strange being there at night time without Harper in the passenger seat, ready for Clarke to drop her off after a night out for girl’s time.

She closed her eyes, leaning her head against the steering wheel, remembering the last time she had been there.

  


_ “You’re going to be here early tomorrow, right?” Harper asked, unbuckling her seatbelt as she prepared to exit the vehicle. _

_ “Yeah, of course. Wouldn’t miss the chance to set up my godson’s first birthday party.” she smiled at her best friend, reaching over to silence the sound system. _

_ “Good.” Harper paused, hesitating. “Bellamy will be here early too.” _

_ Clarke’s lips instantly pursed in distaste. _

_ “Well that’s good. It’s been a solid month since I’ve had to endure inflated self-worth.” _

_ She heard Harper’s sigh even if she didn’t look to see it., but then she was laughing and Clarke couldn’t help but look her way. _

_ “What?” Clarke asked, eyeing Harper curiously. _

_ “Nothing, you dork.” she reached up, opening the door softly. “Just can’t wait for the day when I get to gloat in my right-ness.” _

_ Clarke rolled her eyes. _

_ “Whatever, H.” she turned the sound system back on. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning.” _

_ “That you will.” Harper said in a sing-song voice as she closed the door behind her. _

  


Clarke felt the tears slide down her face and fall to her lap as she realized that she would never get to drop Harper off ever again.

The sudden glaring light pulling in behind her car brought her out of her misery, causing her to wipe the tears from her cheeks quickly before Bellamy could see.

Stepping out of her car, she turned to watch him place his helmet on the back of his motorcycle.

“The security system shouldn’t be on.” she said. “The babysitter didn’t set it up when she left.”

Bellamy nodded as she opened the back door of her car and reached in, handing him one of the boxes from the hospital and then grabbing the other for herself.

When they walked into the foyer, Clarke felt numb with overwhelming heartbreak.

Toys were strewn across the floor and an empty glass was still standing on a coaster on the coffee table. 

It was as if at any moment, Harper would come bounding down the stairs.

She sat her box down on the kitchen island and walked to the refrigerator, her hand drifting up to the calendar that was posted there. Important events were penciled in on various dates, some circled and others starred.

Her fingers drifted away as she turned around to find Bellamy leaning over the island with his palms pressing into the countertops. He was staring at her sadly in the soft glow of the moonlight coming in through the window above the sink.

“We’ll get through this, Princess.”

She nodded.

For the first time, he hadn’t said it like an insult.

  


* * *

  
  
  


The sound of the doorbell was deafening even over the sound of the music playing in the kitchen as Clarke cooked breakfast in the unfamiliar kitchen. She wiped her hands on the towel hanging on the oven door and rushed to answer it.

Bellamy beat her there, hanging up his phone right before he reached it, and opened it to reveal a tall blonde woman in a suit.

She seemed very imposing for a fraction of a second before she looked into Bellamy and Clarke’s tired faces and smiled.

“Hi. I’m Niylah.” she greeted, holding her hand out for the two of them to shake.

Clarke reached her hand out for the woman to take. She seemed nice enough for a lawyer.

“Hello, I’m Clarke. And this is Bellamy.” she nodded in his direction. “I thought we could meet in the living room?”

They settled into their positions on the couch once more as Niylah took a seat across from the coffee table, laying out her papers on the tabletop.

“Well, there’s really not much to it.” she started. “The estate will cover the mortgage but that’s pretty much it. The house was an investment for the two of them, but they left it to the two of you.”

They both looked up at that, confusion coloring their features as they listened to the lawyer, who continued to speak, unaware of their reaction as she looked down at the will.

“Jordan is with Social Services at the moment with a very nice family, but he will need to be picked up as soon as possible. It’s best he be back in his normal environment ASAP. You’ll have a court appointment at the end of the week, but it’s really just a formality to confirm the will and the parental rights-”

Niylah looked up then, noting the horrified looks on their faces, and spoke carefully.

“You- You do know the contents of their will, don’t you?”

Clarke swallowed hard, feeling like she had a lump in her throat.

“What do you mean?” she spoke slowly, Bellamy’s breathing picking up from beside her.

“Monty and Harper.” Niylah started. “Um. When were discussing the contents of their will, in the event of their death...They named the two of you as Jordan’s guardians.”

Clarke’s eyes widened as Bellamy stood suddenly from the couch, hands drifting nervously to his hair.

“The- The _ two _of us?” she asked incredulously, sure she had heard the other woman incorrectly.

“Jesus _ Christ- _” Bellamy mumbled, his hands mushing his hair out of his face..

“Yes, the two of you. I- I would’ve thought that they would have spoken to you about this?” Niylah seemed surprised by their reactions.

“They didn’t.” Clarke said softly. “I-” she paused. “I need a minute.”

She stood and walked into the kitchen, pacing back and forth in front of the refrigerator, her hands trembling as she considered what was happening.

She paused, her eyes drifting to the picture being held up by a magnet against the cool silver metal. Monty, Harper, and Jordan, sitting on a blanket in the grass of the park nearby. All of them were smiling happily, Jordan giggling as his hands cupped his mother’s face.

“What were you thinking, H?” she cried to the picture. “I- I can’t do this. And with _ Bellamy? _”

Harper’s grinning face taunted her, frozen forever in that moment.

_ “You’ll see.” _ her friend’s voice drifted into her consciousness. _ “I’m always right.” _

Clarke swore, shaking her head and walking back into the living room where Bellamy had taken a seat once again.

Plopping down beside him on the couch cushion, she braced herself for their continued conversation.

“Okay. Sorry. I’m fine. So. What does this mean for us? For Jordan?”

Niylah sighed, gathering up her papers and putting them back in her folder.

“Honestly, I thought that the two of you were… together.” she started.

“Oh no.” Clarke interrupted. “Definitely not.”

Bellamy snorted next to her.

“I see that.” Niylah said. “So, this is an odd situation. Harper and Monty’s plan was for the two of you to raise Jordan _ together _. Here, in this house. That’s why they left it to you.” she paused. “You always have the option to say no. In that case, Jordan would be given back to Social Serv-”

“No!” Bellamy and Clarke both said harshly at the same time before looking at one another at their unexpected combined outburst.

“That’s what I thought.” Niylah nodded. “So, in the interim, might I suggest that the two of you live here with Jordan until you decide how you’d best like to handle the situation.”

“You want us to live here?” Bellamy asked. “Together?”

“It’s in the best interest for Jordan.” Niylah confirmed. “He’ll be around two people he knows and loves in his own home. Then, once the two of you have decided who gets custody, it will be a smoother transition.”

“So there are options for custody?” Bellamy asked.

“Of course.” Niylah said calmly. “Although Harper and Monty didn’t have any living family, one of you could always decide to raise Jordan alone.”

She could feel Bellamy’s gaze on the side of her face so she turned to look at him, the heartbroken look on his face matching her own.

_ Could she really do this? Live here? With _ ** _Bellamy?_ **

“But we can have time to think about it?” Clarke asked, ignoring the feeling of Bellamy’s continued gaze.

“Absolutely.” Niylah nodded and stood. “The court date on Friday will be quick, just a confirmation of your temporary custody. If you have any questions, please feel free to reach out to me.”

After seeing Niylah out, Clarke closed the door behind her before turning and leaning bodily back against it.

Bellamy stood before her, hands in his pockets, glasses slipping low on his nose as he looked up at her sadly.

“We can do this.” she said softly. “Right?”

He moved then, stepping closer and closer until he was a mere foot away.

“Let’s go get Jordan. We can talk later.” he grabbed her hand and pulled her away from the door, opening it behind her.

  
  
  
\-----  
  
  


The Social Services office was pretty busy when they arrived. Which she guessed made sense considering that it was a weekend and lots of people weren’t working.

She and Bellamy sat nervously in the hard plastic chairs of the waiting room, her foot tapping nervously on the floor while Bellamy’s forehead rested in his hands.

“Mr. and Mrs. Blake?” a voice announced.

So anxious to get to Jordan, Clarke didn’t even bother correcting the woman as she reached out for her godson, crying inexplicably as she rested him on her hip.

“Cark!” he cooed, his fingers coming up to tap against her cheek and she grinned through her tears.

“Yeah, buddy, it’s me.” she said shakily.

“Bell!” Jordan said delightedly, instantly reaching out for Bellamy.

Bellamy took him into his arms, holding him close to his chest.

“Hey, kid.” he whispered. “Let’s go home.”

A few papers later, they were signed and ready to go, strapping Jordan into the reverse-facing car seat in the back of Clarke’s car.

By the time they made it back to the house, the silence in the car had become deafening as it occurred to the two of them that they had no idea what was going to happen or where things were going to go.

Jordan was delighted to be home, at least. 

When they walked into the house, he immediately migrated to the toys that he had left lying around the living room, crawling from toy to toy while Bellamy and Clarke sat on the couch, contemplating what to do.

“Right.” Bellamy said. “I’m gonna go call Octavia and the others and update them on what’s happening.”

She nodded and then he disappeared.

  


* * *

  
  
  


“I don’t understand!” Clarke lamented, bending down on the floor in front of Jordan’s high chair, trying to feed him some sort of soft food that was an odd shade of green. “Why won’t he eat it?”

She heard Bellamy chuckle from the corner of the kitchen.

“Maybe because what you’re feeding him smells like spoiled milk.” he said snarkily.

“It does not!” she hesitantly sniffed the tip of the spoon only for her face to twist into disgust. “Okay, maybe it does.”

Bellamy arrived then with a cylindrical container filled with what looked like the crunchy part of Lucky Charms and poured them out on his tray.

Jordan immediately picked them up and started eating them.

Clarke sighed.

“His favorite.” Bellamy explained, placing the container on the kitchen counter. 

“I’m aware.” Clarke said, standing and turning to face him. “But we have to feed him food with substance. You know, vegetables? Protein?”

Bellamy reached down, turning the container to read off all of the apparent good things in the puffs.

“I don’t know. These seem pretty well-rounded to me.”

Clarke rolled her eyes and leaned against the counter of the island.

“I’ll ask his pediatrician when we go tomorrow.”

Bellamy leaned beside her, facing her as his palm rested on the countertop.

“Tomorrow? I didn’t know it was tomorrow. What time? I would’ve asked off work.” he seemed genuinely put out that she hadn’t told him.

“Shit-” Clarke clasped her hand over her mouth looking at Jordan who was still stuffing his face with puffs. “I mean- I’m sorry. We’ve got to put together a system of some sort.”

Walking over to the refrigerator, she pulled down the calendar that Monty and Harper had stuck there.

“Like theirs. Maybe something color coded for both of our schedules and for Jordan’s.” she mused, flipping through the months of the paper calendar.

Bellamy came up behind her then, plucking the calendar from her hands and putting it on the countertop.

“Sounds like a great idea to me.” 

She turned to face him head on, worrying her lip between her teeth.

“Are you ready for the meeting with the social worker?” she asked, gesturing to the clock on the wall.

Bellamy grinned his usual charming smile.

“Of course. Are you?”

Rolling her eyes she moved past him toward the living room.

“Just make sure Jordan gets a bath before she gets here.” she called over her shoulder.

“Wait!” she heard Bellamy call to her. “I-”

“You’ve got this!” she turned around and gave him two thumbs up and a wink.

“If you think I’m bathing him by myself your sorely mistaken, Princess!”

She chuckled, ignoring his annoyed pleas and continuing to take her own shower.

  
  
  
\-----  
  


Three hours later, and Bellamy had been right.

Clarke couldn’t leave him to fend for himself in the end, and she ended up having to dry her hair a _ second _time after the two of them gave Jordan a bath.

“Stop fussing with your hair, it’s fine.” she muttered tersely to Bellamy as he paced in the hallway outside the front door.

Bellamy leaned against the doorway, arms crossed over his chest.

“I’ve done that my entire life, you know, and the only person it ever seems to bother is _ you _.” he mused.

She looked up at him from her position on the couch where she was watching Jordan play with his toys on the floor in front of her.

It was unreasonable, really, that he should look so good after days of the two of them taking care of a baby, with no idea what they were doing.

“Doubtful.” she returned. “Just the only one to tell you to your face.”

He grinned.

“Or maybe it’s just a reminder that you don’t have someone with hair as good as mine to run your fingers through. Don’t worry, Princess, I’ll let you do it anytime you want.”

She scoffed.

“You’re unbelievable, you know that?”

The doorbell interrupted the rest of her thought and Bellamy pushed off the doorway to pull it open and welcome the social worker inside.

“Hi.” A smooth voice greeted. “I’m Luna, your designated social worker.”

She watched Bellamy shake her hand and she stood from her place on the couch, picking up Jordan from his spot on the floor.

Shaking Luna’s hand, she and Bellamy took their respective spots beside each other, in what was becoming a familiar situation.

“So, this will be a short meeting just for us to introduce ourselves to one another. I will be returning three more times for unannounced home visits.” she explained, giving each of them a paper outlining her role in the situation. “Now, I was told that the two of you are raising Jordan together?”

“Yes, we are.” Bellamy answered the affirmative. 

“And you’re not… _ together? _” Luna asked carefully.

“No, we’re not.” Clarke responded then, shaking her head.

“Right. That’s fine. As long as you’re not _ sleeping together? _”

“Oh, no no no.” Clarke stuttered as Bellamy left her utterly alone, remaining smugly silent.

“That’s good.” Luna nodded her head in satisfaction. “In my experience with these types of things, which is, admittedly, limited, it’s best not to complicate already complicated situations with sex.”

Clarke’s hands instinctively went to Jordan’s ears even though he undoubtedly had no idea what was being said.

“Well, there’s no chance of _ that _ ever happening.” Clarke said with certainty.

Her eyes drifted to Bellamy’s hands that were clenching and unclenching around his knees and her own stomach flipped at her insistence, remembering.

_ Don’t go there, Clarke. _

  


* * *

  


Walking into the pediatrician's office with her head held high, Clarke refused to be intimidated by the experience.

She and Jordan sat down in the chair next to the desk holding various instruments.

The room itself was very child-friendly with lots of plush furnishings and toys in a chest next to the wall.

She sat Jordan on the rubber mat and watched as he immediately crawled to the chest of toys, his happy giggles echoing off the walls of the doctor’s office.

Placing her purse on the floor beside her chair, she pulled her list of questions out and started going through the list in her mind. She and Bellamy had sat down the night before and come up with a list of things to make sure she asked Jordan’s doctor.

“Ms. Griffin?”

She looked up as a man walked in with a brilliant smile, hand held out in greeting.

“Yes. And you’re Dr. Jaha?” she questioned, even though it was obvious since that was who she was there to see.

“That I am. Wells Jaha, not to be confused with my dad, Thelonious, who owns our practice.” he grinned and she couldn’t help but admit that she was more than a little enamoured by his charming smile.

“Right.” she said softly. “So we have a couple of questions.”

Dr. Jaha laughed lightly, spying the list she had clutched in her hands.

“I would expect no less after being filled in on your situation. I’ve been seeing Jordan since birth, fortunately, so I hope I can help you out with most of them.”

Jordan continued playing unawares as Clarke made her way down the list of questions, Dr. Jaha helpfully answering with as much information as he could.

As charmed as she was by his kind demeanor, she inexplicably felt guilty for making Jordan’s doctor’s appointment about herself. That wasn’t why she was here.

“Well, you have been extremely helpful.” she admitted, picking Jordan up from his place on the floor. 

“I’m glad I could help.” Dr. Jaha said, holding out a small piece of prescription paper.

“Wait. Is something wrong with him?” she asked, panicking.

He chuckled.

“Not at all. That’s for you.” he pointed at the paper.

Looking down, she read outloud. 

“Chardonnay. Two glasses a day, as needed.” she laughed as she read.

“Let me know if you need more than that.” he winked in her direction before turning and leaving the room.

  


\----

  


“So we need to make sure that we steer clear of those particular ingredients because Dr. Jaha-” she paused as she was going down their list of questions to see Bellamy staring at her intently. “What?”

He shook his head, laughing lightly.

“Nothing. Continue.”

Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“What? Is something wrong? Did we miss a question?”

Bellamy huffed, standing from the couch opposite her and walking into the kitchen. She followed him quickly, watching as he pulled open the refrigerator and pulled out a beer.

“No. No questions missed, Princess. Everything is in order.”

She rolled her eyes at the way he so quickly reverted back to his hateful use of the nickname.

“I can’t fix whatever is bothering you if you don’t tell me what it’s about, Bellamy.”

He closed the door a little louder than necessary and she hastily shushed him.

“Are you insane??” she hissed. “Jordan’s only been asleep for half an hour!”

“Oh, I’m sorry, wouldn’t want to wake him up. What did Dr. Jaha have to say about that, huh? Any more tips and tricks for the inept parents?”

She shook her head in shock, surprised by his sudden outburst.

“What are you even _ talking _ about, Bellamy? Are you mad that Jordan’s doctor actually answered all of our questions? Do you know how _ crazy _ that sounds?”

Bellamy sat the bottle on the countertop without opening it, eyes finding hers across the kitchen.

“No, Clarke, why don’t you tell me how crazy I sound? I’m ready to hear about it again. It’s been a few years now, hasn’t it?”

She opened her mouth and then closed it, unsure of how to respond to that, her mind swimming in memory before she decided not to even go there.

“Whatever, Bellamy. We can talk about this tomorrow, when you’re in a better mood.” she muttered, irritated, and turned to leave the room.

“What? Not in the mood to hash this out tonight, Clarke? Why wait?”

She ignored him and continued into the living room, making it as far as the staircase before she felt Bellamy’s hand wrap around her wrist and pull her backwards, turning her around and pushing her into the wall at the base of the stairwell.

“Bellamy-” she said, breathless, her eyes instantly finding his. “We can’t-”

“Why not?” he asked. “Still not the right time?” he said softly, his fingers tracing back and forth over the veins on the insides of her wrists.

She paused at that, considering for a moment. He wasn’t wrong, of course. Eventually they would have to actually talk about… _ things _… if they were planning to make this work.

“No.” she said, her voice transparently vulnerable.

Bellamy’s jaw clenched for a second before he released her, stepping away, his hands swaying at his side.

“Fine.” he said and then he disappeared up the stairs.

She stayed there for a few minutes longer, leaning against the wall, trying to get her breathing under control.

After a while, she gathered her wits and followed him up the stairs, pausing briefly as she passed by his door, watching his shadow move in the light of his bedside lamp as walked around the room.

It definitely wasn’t the right time.

_ Right? _

  
  


* * *

  


**October 2014**

  


“I can’t believe I let you talk me into this.” Clarke lamented as Harper finished putting the final curl into Clarke’s long blonde hair, running her fingers through it to give it some body.

“Oh come on, Clarke. You know I’m really good at these things.” Harper mused, putting finishing touches of hairspray on her best friend’s hair.

“You and Monty have been dating for like.. Three months, H. You’re still in that honeymoon phase and are looking to make everyone as blissfully happy as you are, even if they aren’t looking for it.” Clarke muttered, rubbing her lips with chapstick before putting it back on the vanity table. “The fact that it’s Monty’s best friend is just the cherry on top of the metaphorical ice cream sundae.”

Harper rolled her eyes in the mirror and moved to the closet behind them and pulled out the dress that she would be wearing for her date that evening.

“Whatever. He’s perfect for you, you’ll see. I’ve known it since the moment I met him.”

Clarke laughed and stood, walking to her friend and taking the dress from her hands.

“You and your _ superpower. _ I’m going on this outing and when it doesn’t work, I don’t want to hear anything else from you and your gut ever again, understood?”

Harper smirked as she watched Clarke slip into the little black dress with the cuffed sleeves that clung to her body.

“Perfectly. Can’t wait to prove you wrong.” Harper chirped, picking up Clarke’s clutch from the bed. “Now. He’ll be here in fifteen minutes, so I’m going to disappear. I want a call _ as soon as _ he disappears. A call, you hear me? Not a text. A call.”

Clarke sighed rubbing her thumb nervously against the material of the clutch.

“Got it. He does know I’m 20, right? No drinking?” she questioned, not really caring at all that Bellamy was 22 and likely used to drinking, but really just looking for any reason to stall Harper from leaving.

“Of course. He knows how old I am and he knows we’re the same age. He never lets me drink at his and Monty’s apartment. No worries.”

Harper moved swiftly then, grabbing her backpack from the couch on her way to the door.

“Harper, wait!” Clarke called, rushing after her, picking up her heels from the bed on the way out the bedroom door.

“Nope. No more stalling, Griffin. You’ve got this.” Harper said, opening the door and turning to face her friend. “Call not text.” she winked and then she was gone.

Clarke sighed as she plopped down on the couch, reaching down to buckle her shoes around her ankles before she leaned back and waited for the buzz from downstairs.

Forty five minutes later, and she was still sitting on the couch. Alone. No date in sight.

“This is a great start.” she muttered to herself, her head falling back against the back of the couch to look up at the kitchen.

Her phone buzzed at 7:45, forty five minutes after what was supposed to be the beginning of their date.

_ Bellamy: Hey, I’m downstairs. _

She rolled her eyes.

_ What? He didn’t know how a call system worked? _

When she made it to the lobby, he was waiting outside on the stoop, hands in his pockets, back to the door.

Pushing the door open, he turned immediately, his eyes falling to her dress first, taking in her outfit with obvious interest.

_ Well at least Harper’s efforts weren’t wasted. _

“Bellamy?” she asked, holding her hand out for him to shake.

His eyes snapped up to hers then, smirk in place, instantly putting her off.

“Clarke, I’m assuming.” he grabbed her hand bringing it to his lips and placing a kiss on the side of her thumb.

Her breath hitched in surprise, her stomach floundering in attraction while her brain admonished her for so easily forgetting that he was forty five minutes late.

“Sorry I’m late.” he said then, grabbing her hand in his and guiding her down the front steps. “Traffic.”

She wanted to question his excuse, considering it was almost 8:00 at night, but she decided to give him the benefit of the doubt.

“Where are we going?” she questioned, only just noticing that he had guided her to a motorcycle. “Oh. I don’t think I’m really dressed for a motorcycle ride.”

His eyes dropped to her dress again and then he ran his fingers through his hair.

_ Is he… nervous? _

“Right.” he nodded. “Um. Damn.”

“It’s fine.” she interrupted. “We can take my car.”

He looked up at her then, eyes slightly widened.

“You’re sure?”

“Yes, it’s fine.” she said, only slightly annoyed. Why hadn’t Harper mentioned that she should dress for a motorcycle?

They walked to the car and she walked to the driver’s side, opening the door and looking up with surprise to find him on her side of the car before he turned suddenly and opened his own door.

_ Was he going to open my door? _

“You’re sure this is fine?” he questioned as he bent down to fit inside her compact Prius.

“Sure.” she answered, pushing the button to start her car.

She heard Bellamy chuckle softly.

“Something funny?” she questioned, a confused look on her face.

“It’s just, of course you drive a Prius.”

Her eyebrows shot up at that.

“I’m sorry? Is there something wrong with my car?”

His eyes widened a fraction.

“Wait what? No, that’s not what I meant I-”

“What, because I drive a Prius that _ says _ something about me? Like what? Hm?”

His expression morphed then into a more accustatory one.

“Actually, no. Your Prius doesn’t say much about you, but who _you_ _are_ seems pretty obvious to me.”

Her mouth actually dropped open in shock at that comment, unsure if anyone had ever spoken to her that way before.

“You-” she started, but he cut her off.

“What? Perfect Princess not used to someone calling her out on her own bullshit?”

She paused, mouth still open before she answered.

“Get out. Right now.” she said tersely, hands gripping the steering wheel tightly.

“With pleasure, _ Princess. _”

She watched as he got out, closing her door more softly than she had anticipated, considering how upset he seemed.

Angrily, she opened her own door, headed in the direction he had left, toward his motorcycle.

“I can’t _ believe _ Harper and Monty thought this was a good idea, _ honestly _!” she yelled after him, watching as he took his helmet off the back of his motorcycle.

“Yeah, well, me either. Why they thought I would ever be interested in a Princess like you is baffling to me.” he yelled back, putting on his helmet and swinging his leg over the bike.

“Yeah, well-” she stuttered, taken aback by the volume of his motorcycle’s revving engine. “I-”

But he was already gone, not waiting around to hear what she was going to say.

* * *

  
  
  


**Now**

  


Watching the fan rotate on the ceiling above her, she contemplated that first time she met Bellamy.

She was woman enough to admit now that Bellamy wasn’t who she thought he was that first date and that she hadn’t exactly left a good impression on him either.

But it still had set them on a bad path, one that had been more tumultuous than she ever could’ve imagined.

_ Except that one night. _

She forced a wall shut in her mind, blocking that particular memory from resurfacing except to remind her of why she and Bellamy raising Jordan together was probably a terrible idea.

“I don’t know why you did this, H.” she whispered to her lost friend as she looked out at the night sky outside her window. “I mean.” she sighed. “I know _ why _ you did it. Theoretically. I’m not sure if it was because of you and your stupid _ superpower _ or if it was just because you thought we were Jordan’s best options, separately _ or _ together.”

She sighed, watching the stars shine in the night sky and imagined that Harper was somewhere up there, actually listening.

“I’m going to stay with it.” she whispered. “Because it’s what you wanted. But-” she paused, considering her next words carefully. “I don’t know how this is going to work. You know how I feel and I-” she swallowed heavily. “I’m not sure how far I’ll bend before I break, H.”

Pausing one last time, she sleepily blinked, her last whisper lingering in the air.

“I hope you were right.”

  



	2. His Mark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sunday Funday! (It's now a thing, just go with it)
> 
> Here we are with chapter 2!
> 
> In this chapter, we get to see more of their past interactions as well as Harper and Monty (tear).
> 
> See you on the flip side! ;)

**His Mark**

“Jordan, come on, I _ know _ you love pumpkin.” Clarke pled with the crying baby. “You ate your organic pumpkin applesauce just _ two days ago. _”

Jordan’s bottom lip quivered as he shook his head, refusing to open his mouth and swallow the orange goo she had scooped up in the bright green spoon he loved so much.

She sighed, plopping the spoon back into the bowl and leaning back in the chair she had placed in front of his high chair, pressing her palms to her face in frustration.

“Have you tried the choo choo train thing?” 

Bellamy’s voice made her jump as he walked into the kitchen and headed for the refrigerator, grabbing a bottle of that gross herb looking drink he took to work every morning. 

“The what?” she asked tiredly, not really caring about a response.

“The choo choo train thing.” Bellamy said again. “You know, the thing where you pretend the spoon is a train and make cute faces? Harper used to do that and it would work.”

Clarke’s face contorted as she looked back at the spoon, picking it up and twirling it between her fingers thoughtfully.

She watched Bellamy as he moved to the cabinet, grabbing a protein bar from his stash next to the stove.

It had been about a week since their argument that night by the stairs and they were pretty much ignoring each other, only speaking when required by the whole parenting thing.

It was her fault, she knew that, but it didn’t make the situation any easier.

What was she supposed to do?

If she ignored Bellamy and they continued on their current path, it wasn’t sustainable. 

Something had to give.

But she was terrified that what would have to give was her heart.

And she couldn’t go through that again.

  


\----

  


**May 2015**

Clarke glared balefully at all the drunk people surrounding her, girls in skimpy bathing suit tops and boys in those stupid frat boy shorts that no sensible grown male should wear.

Why was she even _ there? _

_ Because you’re a good friend and Harper needs you, that’s why. _

She turned her gaze to her friends sitting on the log by the fire, both smiling pleasantly, Harper’s hand threaded through Monty’s as they spoke softly to one another, looking into the fire.

She wanted to be sickened by their blatant love for one another, but instead she was just jealous, she knew.

Which led her to where she was - Sitting on top of a cooler watching her best friend spend as much time with her boyfriend as possible before he graduated and left Athens behind him, Atlanta in the distance.

Sure, Atlanta really wasn’t that far away, but Monty and Harper and grown so close over the past year that she knew the distance was going to be tiresome for the two of them.

“It’s terrible, isn’t it?” a voice broke through her thought process, a body dropping down on top of the cooler next to her. “The way they just sit around and be all… in love and shit.”

Fighting the urge to roll her eyes, she turned her head slightly to address the neanderthal that had presumed to join her.

“I’m surprised you recognize it when you see it, Blake.” she pretended to look around the party. “I don’t see your harem. Traveling alone tonight? Or are they all just catching on to your general horribleness?” 

She turned fully then, raising an eyebrow in challenge.

Bellamy chuckled, leaning back, his t-shirt clinging to his (unfortunately) chiseled stomach as he ran a hand through his unruly curls.

“Actually, I’ve found that if I travel light, then it’s much easier to pick up new additions to the group.”

This time, she _ did _ roll her eyes, unable to contain her express distaste for the man sitting beside her.

It was unfortunate that Monty’s roommate and best friend happened to be _ the worst human alive. _ And it made no sense either. Monty was awesome. How on _ Earth _ did he end up friends with this asshat?

“Ah, I see. Yes, that does make sense, doesn’t it? Too bad they won’t be able to follow you to Atlanta once you leave. Unless you’ve suddenly started targeting women your own age?”

Bellamy leaned in close then, his eyes darkening slightly as his voice dropped.

“But if I did that, that would mean I couldn’t recruit _ you, _ Princess.”

She couldn’t help but cross her arms in a huff, her own gaze tightening.

“Lofty ambitions, I assure you, you should probably spend your time on more likely subjects.”

Bellamy grinned, his eyes trailing down to land on her chest which was unfortunately propped up by her crossed arms, so she dropped them quickly to her sides.

“One day you’ll stop pretending you don’t think about me at night.” he winked at her narrowed look of anger.

“I-” she started to reply but was cut off by the feeling of Harper’s hand wrapping around her wrist and pulling her up to standing.

“Nope.” Harper said. “Not tonight. I have three weeks left with my boyfriend before he and this one” she nodded toward Bellamy. “Leave for the city. It will not be marred by World War II. Now, let’s go swimming!”

Harper squealed and pulled Clarke along behind her, headed for the lake at the bottom of the hill.

“Ugh. Harper, I thought you said this thing was swimming _ optional? _”

Harper giggled and pulled her shorts down revealing her bikini bottoms.

“I did! But since you’re in your bathing suit, you might as well join!” her friend said excitedly, laughing as Monty came up to her in his trunks, wrapping his arm around her waist and guiding her to the water.

She jolted slightly as she felt a hand rest on her lower back, lips whispering into her ear.

“No pressure, Princess. I’m sure you’ll have _ much _ more fun up her watching the good times from the shore.” Bellamy said, his voice deep and teasing.

She shivered as his hand drifted away from her, brushing her side as he moved past her toward the lake, his own shirt forgotten on the grass.

He turned and smirked at her over his shoulder before he too jumped in the cool water.

“Come on, Clarke!” Harper called from where she was wading a few yards off the shore.

She huffed, reaching down and unbuttoning her shorts, tugging them down and off her feet.

Fiddling with the stray thread at the bottom of her t-shirt, she briefly contemplating just returning to the fire, but then she caught a glimpse of Bellamy pretending not to watch her from his place in the water where a pretty brunette girl was wading in front of him, trying to get his attention, she had the sudden urge to stay.

She felt her face settle in resolute stubborness as she finally lifted the fabric up and above her head and threw it to the ground.

As she made her way to the water, she couldn’t help but smirk satisfactorily at the look on Bellamy’s face, the brunette completely forgotten as his eyes roved up and down her body.

_ Yeah _ she thought. _ I look good. _

“Woooooo!” Harper whooped when she noticed Clarke was approaching the lake. “Lookin’ good, Griff!”

Clarke laughed as she dipped a toe into the cool lake water off the small dock.

“Come now, Princess. Not getting cold feet, are you?”

She jerked her head up to find Bellamy floating closer than before, alone now, the poor girl forgotten somewhere behind him.

“Of course not” she scoffed, biting down on her bottom lip and taking the hair tie out of her bun and allowing her hair to fall down around her shoulders.

Before she could second guess herself, she jumped, the _ cold _ water enveloping her immediately and stealing her breath.

She gasped as she resurfaced, pushing her hair away from her face.

“Oh my god.” she said breathily, chill bumps covering her arms.

“You’ll get used to it.” Bellamy’s voice made her eyes open and she found him right in front of her, his grin in place. “But I can warm you up if you’re really struggling.” he suggested.

She couldn’t help but huff out a small laugh at his over inflated sense of confidence.

“You really are terrible, aren’t you?” she laughed at his unashamed smile.

“The absolute worst.” he admitted. “I like your bathing suit.”

She snorted.

“I’m not one of your _ girls _, Bellamy, your charm doesn’t work on me.”

  
“Is that so?” he asked, swimming closer, causing her to peddle backward. 

She stopped as she suddenly found herself pressed up against one of the wooden poles holding the dock up and out of the water.

“Where you goin’, Princess?” he said quietly, lifting a hand to rest on the support beam above her head. His right hand then came up to tuck her hair behind her ear, dropping slowly, barely grazing the side of her breast on its way back into the water.

“A-away from you.” she stuttered out, suddenly very nervous, her pulse firing underneath the skin of her wrists as she watched his adam’s apple bob in front of her eyes.

Bellamy chuckled.

“Don’t worry. A few more weeks and I’ll be gone for good, off to Atlanta, and you’ll never have to see me again.”

She was confused as her heart suddenly stopped beating and she was hit with an unbearable sense of sadness.

Ever since that first night she and Bellamy met, they had been around one another pretty often. It was kind of hard to get around considering their best friends were dating.

Even though he did have a harem of girls that seemed to follow him around, she had learned over time that she had been entirely wrong about him that first night. 

He wasn’t that bad, just misguided in some of his decision making.

So even though she didn’t really _ like _ him, she also didn’t _ hate _ him either.

And now, just as they were on the cusp of begrudging friendship, he was leaving.

But she couldn’t let him know that.

“Hm. Seems like a reason to celebrate to me.”

Bellamy’s smile was different this time, smaller and more… sad.

“So it would seem.” he murmured softly, so quiet she almost had trouble hearing him.

“Clarke!” 

They both turned to see Harper waving at the two of them from her place on Monty’s shoulders, where they had moved to the shallower end to join Bellamy and Clarke.

“Oh, no way.” Clarke said, shaking her head wildly. “Not gonna happen.”

Bellamy’s hand was suddenly around her waist, his fingers spread out across her lower back as he pulled her away from her hiding spot and into his chest.

“Live a little, Princess.” he said softly, his grin wide and bright.

She rolled her eyes but then suddenly started squealing as Bellamy disappeared under the water, his hands engulfing her thighs and pulling them apart as he reappeared above the surface of the water, Clarke on his shoulders as he stood.

“Bellamy!” she screamed, her entire body blushing as she fought to stay balanced, her hands in his hair and his hands gripping her thighs tightly.

“It’s okay.” She heard him promise below her. “I won’t let you fall.”

  
  


\----

**Now **

She snapped out of her thoughts as the sound of the closing cabinet sounded loudly throughout the kitchen.

Mentally, she reminded herself to Google the choo choo train thing so she’d know what the hell Bellamy was talking about.

“Oh.” she started to speak as Bellamy was about to leave the kitchen. “Don’t forget I have a dinner meeting with a client tonight. Make sure you’re home on time.”

Bellamy nodded, waving distractedly as he left the kitchen and moments later, the house.

Clarke sighed.

Yeah.

She didn’t know what needed to happen, but she knew what _ didn’t _ need to happen.

Not now, not ever.

  


* * *

  
  


Later that evening, she waited impatiently on the couch, her leg shaking up and down in her nerves as she eyed the clock on the wall.

Jordan was playing happily on the floor in front of the TV, pushing his little trucks around as he crawled behind them.

_ Shit. Where the fuck was he? _

Suddenly, the door opened and Bellamy came in, depositing his keys into the bowl next to it and she jumped from her seat, hurriedly, grabbing her belongings and pushing her heels on her feet.

“Woah, Princess, where’s the fire?” he asked, his eyes confused.

Her head snapped up, wild eyes angrily finding his.

“Are you _ kidding me, _ Bellamy? I told you just this _ morning _ that I have a dinner meeting with a client in-” she looked at the clock “FIFTEEN MINUTES!”

Bellamy’s eyes closed and his head dropped back in remembrance, hands running through his curls again and she wanted to yank them all out of his head.

“I’m so, _ so _ sorry, Clarke. I- We had a crisis at work with the Mythos and they-”

“No.” she stopped him. “I don’t care. What I care about is that I _ needed _you, Bellamy, and you let me down.”

She pushed past him toward the front door, opening it, and rushing toward her car.

“CLARKE!” he called her name as she ran to the Prius, unlocking it on her way. “Clarke, I’m sorry!”

She ignored him, pushing the button to start her car and pulling out of the driveway.

  


\----

  


When she got back home that night, there was a plate of cookies on the countertop. Beside them was a note that she picked up with tired fingers.

_ I’m sorry. Truly. _

_ -Bellamy _

She took the note and walked over to the trash can, one hundred percent planning to throw it away but she stopped before she could, turning the card over and over in her hand.

Sighing, she put it back on the countertop and walked over to the plate of cookies, picking one up and taking a bite.

She groaned at how delicious it actually was and mentally demanded to know where he’d bought them.

Although, one glance at the running dishwasher told her that there was a very real possibility that he had made them himself.

Too tired to consider it any further, she took the plate with her upstairs and got ready for bed.

_ He’s trying. _ A voice that sounded suspiciously like Harper sounded in her mind.

“Yeah, maybe.” Clarke said, outloud and to herself. “But it doesn’t mean anything, H.”

  


* * *

  
  


“Ms. Griffin, it’s good to see you again.” Dr. Jaha greeted as he walked into the small room, shaking her hand in greeting.

“Oh it’s Clarke, please, Dr. Jaha.” she smiled pleasantly at the kind man, balancing Jordan on her lap.

He smiled back and she noted that he had a very nice smile, one that extended all the way to his eyes.

“Then I insist you call me Wells.” he returned. “So, how are things since your last visit?”

She updated Wells on all the ins and outs of Jordan’s health since the last time she’d seen him, including how he wasn’t eating as much as he should.

“That’s actually pretty normal, considering his situation.” Wells said sadly. “You’ll need to make sure he’s getting enough nutrients and hydration. I can recommend some supplemental things you can try until he starts eating normally again.”

He pulled a pen and pad from his pocket and started writing.

“So he’ll be okay? He_ will _ start eating normally again?” she asked, worried, as Jordan sat in her lap and playfully pulled at her ears.

Wells nodded.

“Oh absolutely. Don’t worry, we’ll make sure he’s okay,” he smiled down at Jordan.

They spoke for another twenty minutes, Wells conducting a series of well-being checks on Jordan before the two of them were standing, ready to leave.

“I really can’t thank you enough, Wells.” she spoke sincerely. “We’re doing the best we can, but there’s no way we would be able to do it without you.”

Wells cleared his throat and she watched as he started blushing.

“Um, of course. Anytime.” he said.

She started to move toward the door but his voice stopped her.

“Clarke!”

She paused, shifting Jordan to the other hip and turning back to face him.

“Would you um... Would you like to grab dinner sometime?” he asked shyly.

Her instinct reaction was to say _ no. _

But then she considered _ why. _

Bellamy’s face flashed before her eyes and she internally swore at her own stupid feelings.

Maybe this is what she needed. Wells was a nice guy and he was obviously really good with children. Why _ shouldn’t _ she go out with him?

“Sure.” she said happily and watched as Wells shoulders relaxed, obviously having been pretty nervous about asking her. “What about tonight?”

His eyebrows shot up in surprise and he stuck his hands in his pockets.

“Tonight? Um.. yeah. Yeah, I could do tonight.” he smiled his bright smile at her and she couldn’t help but give him one in return.

  


\----

  


“I’m sorry. _ What? _” Bellamy asked as he followed her into her bedroom.

“Where’s Jordan?” she asked, her eyes turning to find him without their child, his arms crossed over his chest.

“He’s in his pack-and-play. Now, back to our conversation.” he said, surly, looking at her through her mirror as she touched up her make-up from that day.

“It isn’t a conversation. It was a statement. I’m going on a date tonight.” she said slowly as she applied a swift swipe of mascara to her eyelashes, her lips parted slightly.

“This was _ not _ on the calendar.” Bellamy insisted, following her then to her closet where she started searching for an appropriate date dress.

“_ Nothing _ is on either of our calendars so I said yes when he asked me today.” she turned around, holding a black dress in her hands. “Why? Did you find something to do this evening as well?”

His eyes narrowed.

“_ Who _asked you?”

She bit her lip then, knowing that he wasn’t going to take this well, especially after the incident that night after Jordan’s first appointment with Wells.

“Dr. Jaha.” she admitted quietly, pushing past him toward the door to her bedroom, headed to change in the bathroom since Bellamy was in her room.

She made it all the way to the bathroom door when suddenly, Bellamy’s hand on her waist spun her around, her back to the wood of the door as she looked up into his upset expression.

“You can_ not _ be serious, Princess.” he all but growled at her, his left hand still on her waist as his right rested on the door beside her head.

Her eyes narrowed, her dress-less hand coming up to try and push him away from her to no avail.

“Of course I am. Why would I make that up?”

She knew he wasn’t going to take this well, but she wasn’t about to admit that to _ him. _

“Because I very vividly remember a conversation in which I was told I was _ crazy _ for thinking that his intentions were anything but pure.” he said, his voice deep, and she could feel it all the way to her bones.

“I never said you were crazy for _ that. _ I said you were crazy for being angry that he answered all of our questions.”

Bellamy swore, the hand on the door clenching slightly and pushing against the wood.

“That’s not what that was about and you _ know _ it, Clarke.”

She used her whole body then, pushing him off her and quickly hurrying back to her room, about to close the door behind her before Bellamy caught it with one hand.

“Don’t do this.” he said softly, looking down into her eyes imploringly. “You can’t keep running.”

Her body shivered at his tone, obviously agreeing with Bellamy.

“I’m not _ running, _ Bellamy.” she whispered, trying to convince herself as much as she was him. 

Bellamy huffed, his other hand coming to rest on the door jamb that she could still see through the crack of the door.

“Then what do you call this?” he asked, his tone annoyed.

She breathed in and out deeply once more before responding.

“It’s just a date.’” she paused, allowing her words to cut through his memory. “Besides, you’re one to talk. I don’t recall you ever being the one to turn down a good time.”

He didn’t respond for a long while but then he let go of the door then and she closed it, resting her forehead against it as she struggled to control her breathing.

_ Don’t do this, Clarke. You have a date with a very nice man who’s interested in you. Don’t let him get to you again. _

  


\-----

  


**October 2015**

“You’re the photographers, right?” Clarke asked the two people coming in with hands full of nondescript black bags. 

They both nodded and she pointed in the direction of the corner where they would need to set up, sending them on their way.

She couldn’t believe it was finally here. Weeks of planning with Harper and their fundraiser for the campus art club was finally underway.

Since the two of them were in charge of community outreach, they had been dealt the hand of organizing the big dance, their largest fundraiser of the year.

She had never planned anything of this magnitude before in her life, but it seemed to be coming together quite nicely, and she and Harper would definitely be celebrating with a nice bottle of wine later.

“Everything going to plan?” Harper asked as she came in the door to the ballroom, her checklist in hand, the bright pink clipboard matching the scrunchy in her hair.

“Yepp, we’re all good.” she confirmed. “Photographers just arrived. They’re setting up now. When’s Monty getting her?”

Harper grinned happily, pulling the pink clipboard to her chest.

“He’ll be here as it’s starting.”

_ Don’t do it. Don’t ask. Don’t- _

“Is he coming alone?” she asked, attempting to make her voice seem as uninterested as possible as she pretended to sort the decorations on the table in front of her.

Harper’s chuckle told her that she was completely obvious in spite of her efforts.

“Of course not. You know Monty and Bellamy can’t part from one another for an entire evening. What ever would they do?”

Clarke tried to hide her smile, biting down on her bottom lip in her effort.

“Well, that’s unfortunate.” she said, her tone lacking the same bite from before that night at the lake when she and Bellamy finally started getting along.

Harper snorted, moving beside her to _ actually _ sort the decorations, pushing her out of the way.

“Don’t pretend with me, woman. I know better.”

Clarke sighed, moving away from the table and toward the photographer’s corner.

“Whatever. I’m going to check on their progress.”

She could feel Harper’s eyes following her all the way across the room.

  


\----

  


The party was in full swing, the lights shining across the floor as people started mingling, grabbing refreshments, and taking funny pictures in the corner.

“It’s AMAZING” Harper said, coming up to her side and sweeping her arms across the room. “Look at what we’ve DONE, Clarkie!”

Clarke chuckled, leaning her head on her friend’s shoulder.

“Yeah, it’s pretty great, isn’t it?”

Harper’s phone lit up then and she brought it up to her face, her smile radiating from the glow of its screen.

“They’re here!” she squealed.

Clarke watched with a grin as Harper ran to the entrance. 

From her place at the window she could see her friend jump up and into Monty’s arms, where he caught her.

She laughed lightly, pushing off the wall, preparing to move in their direction when suddenly, she stopped.

Bellamy walked in, still just as _ beautiful _as she remembered.

But he wasn’t alone.

There was an equally beautiful brunette with him.

Someone she didn’t remotely recognize.

She watched as Harper quickly looked in her direction before turning back to Bellamy.

_ He has a date. _

She mentally cursed herself.

_ Of course he has a date, why wouldn’t he? It’s not like you _ ** _ were_ ** _ anything. You had fun in a lake one night and now what? You expect him to go away to college and remain single until you get your fucking act together and say something? _

She brushed her hair out of her face nervously.

At that moment, her eyes flitted back to him, but this time, he was looking at her too.

She wanted to say that he was looking at her with just as much intensity as she was him, but she knew she was only seeing what she wanted to see.

Steeling herself, she walked over to the congregated group with the biggest fake smile she had in her arsenal plastered on her face.

“Monty!” she said happily as she embraced her friend’s boyfriend before stepping away politely, turning somewhat toward Bellamy.

“Bellamy.” she nodded at him, smile still in place.

She watched him swallow heavily.

“Clarke.” he answered.

She cringed internally at the distinct lack of nickname.

_ It’s not like that name was born out of good things anyways. _

And that was that.

She spent the next hour avoiding Bellamy and his girlfriend like the plague. She did take some happiness in noticing that Bellamy seemed to be annoyed with his date for whatever reason.

All in all, she was doing an excellent job of avoiding messy feelings until Bellamy fucked everything up.

“You’ve been like a ghost tonight, Princess.” a voice said into her ear as she bent over the table trying to refill the snacks.

She sighed, straightening, turning to find a smirking Bellamy leaning his hip against the edge of the wood.

“We’re back to Princess, now, are we?” she said a little harshly, wincing at her own tone of voice.

“Woah, woah, what’s up? Did someone mess up your plans for a conga line or something?” he asked, hands raised, palms out.

“Nope. Nothing. I’m fine.” she insisted, sitting the bag of pretzels back under the table before pushing past Bellamy toward the back hallway that led to their preparation room.

“Obviously.” she heard him say as he followed her. “Wanna go for the truth this time?”

She huffed, pushing open the door and refusing to face him.

“Nothing’s wrong, Bellamy.” she insisted.

He stopped following her, pausing in the doorway, shoving his hands into his jean pockets.

“So why haven’t I heard from you, huh? Not even an Instagram message, Princess? I’m hurt.”

She stopped pretending to look busy then, turning around to face him.

“Me? I haven’t heard from you either, you know. Communication is a two way street.” she watched his jaw clench as he snapped his mouth shut. “Besides, it seems like your busy anyway. A new harem already? You work fast, Blake.”

Turning around to look through the boxes of food, she ignored his responding chuckle and the effect it had on the chills running down her spine.

“Oh, I get it.”

His voice was suddenly close and she straightened quickly, turning around to find him right in front of her.

“Jealous, Princess?”

She rolled her eyes, placing her hands on her hips.

“Not even the slightest bit.” she said angrily, her eyes meeting his, refusing to back down from the obvious challenge.

He smirked.

“It’s just a date.” he assured her. “Couldn’t show up to a party alone, now could I?”

Clarke’s mouth tilted in a small, sarcastic smile.

“You showed up alone to the last party I saw you at.” Bellamy’s eyes shuttered, obviously remembering that night on the lake as well. “What, because you didn’t end up with anyone to sleep with that night, you decided not to do it anymore?”

His jaw was working overtime as she watched him think of a response, but she pushed past him grabbing a carton of goldfish on her way to the door.

“Better hurry,” she said, not bothering to look back. “Wouldn’t want her to get the wrong idea about your following me back here.”

  


* * *

  


**Now**

  


Wells was a gentleman.

He walked her to her door that night, bidding her good night from the porch, leaning in to lay a gentle kiss to her cheek before turning and walking back to his car.

He was nice.

_ So _ nice.

She’d be an idiot _ not _ to see him again.

Yet, when she walked in to find Bellamy waiting on the couch, no TV turned on, just him and his book, the side lamp turned on to allow him to read, her heart started beating faster in a way that Wells could never hope to replicate.

His head snapped up, watching her as she walked in and started unwrapping her scarf from around her neck.

He didn’t say anything as she passed by him on her way to the kitchen in search of her favorite pint of Milk and Cookies ice cream.

So when she looked up from the freezer to find him standing at the kitchen island, she jumped in the quiet darkness of the kitchen.

“Jesus, make noise much??”

She sat down quietly on the bar stool across from him and began to eat.

“Doctor didn’t spring for dessert?” was his snarky response and she rolled her eyes at his obvious attempt to bait her into an argument.

“I’m not in the mood to argue with you, Bellamy.”

She continued to take bites out of her ice cream, ignoring the feeling of him staring at her across the marble surface of the countertop.

“You know.” he said after a couple of minutes of complete silence. “You seem to ignore a lot of things if it helps fit your version of me that exists in your head.”

She looked up then, her spoon hanging in mid air.

He looked sad instead of angry.

“I had thought we’d come a long way since that first time we met, but…” he paused. “Everytime we take a step forward, we take two steps back.”

She watched as he leaned forward on his elbows, staring at her intently.

“I’m tired of trying to keep moving forward when you’re obviously never going to move past that first night.”

He pushed off the counter and started to leave.

“I did.” she said softly, stopping him. “I did once.” she left her ice cream on the counter, not bothering to put it away as she walked toward him until they were a foot apart. “But we both know what happened next.” she whispered.

Pushing past him, she made her way upstairs, checking in on Jordan before falling asleep in the rocking chair beside his crib.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Work the next day was miserable and she had never been happier to be headed to the house.

She knew it was her fault.

She kept thinking about Bellamy and their whole damned situation. Theoretically, she knew Monty and Harper had thought the two of them together was what was best for Jordan, but they didn’t know the whole story.

They didn’t know how hard it would be for her to be around him.

At that moment, a text came in, her car screen telling her it was Bellamy.

She paused at the next stoplight, pulling her phone up to look at the message.

**Bellamy: ** _ I’m bringing home dinner, don’t worry about cooking. _

Sometimes, she swore it was like he had some sort of sense when it came to her feelings. He knew exactly what she was feeling, no matter what she said or how far apart they were.

And as much as she wanted to give in, to soften, she knew she couldn’t let her guard down.

  


\-----

  
  


**May 2016**

  


“London, huh?”

Even after a whole school year apart, she could still feel the goosebumps rise on her arms at the sound of his voice.

She sighed internally at the knowledge that he still had that effect on her.

“Yeah.” she said, turning around to face him. “London.”

He looked good.

Post-college real life looked _ good _on Bellamy Blake.

He had a little bit of stubble now and he wasn’t wearing beige shorts anymore. Instead, he was in slacks and shiny shoes, a button down with sleeves pulled up to expose his forearms.

_ Damn it, Clarke. Focus. _

“And you? I heard about the History Channel. That’s awesome. Congratulations.” she said, trying to keep her voice as even as possible.

His smirk was still the same however, as he used it full force from his place leaning against the bar, three stools down from her.

“Thanks, Princess.”

She looked around then, noticing that there wasn’t some harpy hovering nearby, waiting for him to get her drink.

“Couldn’t find some big city girl to join you on your escapade to this tiny hole in the wall bar?” she asked, nonchalant, as she leaned her hip against a stool.

She watched Bellamy chuckle, running a hand through his hair as he looked over to the booth where their friends were congregated.

They were at their favorite local place by the campus that night, celebrating Clarke’s study abroad placement in London.

She knew Monty was coming. She hadn’t been as sure about Bellamy.

She had been too stubborn or too scared to admit to herself that she _ had _ been hoping he would come, however. Even after their disastrous showing at the fall fundraiser.

“Nah. No date tonight. It’s easier to pick up new additions to the harem when I travel alone.”

Her mouth quirked up at the side instantly, realizing he was calling back to that night at the bonfire, their bantering conversation still stuck in her mind like a reel of film.

“Tell me you at least have started recruiting women your own age?” she asked. A nervous lilt in her tone was the only betrayal of her fear of his response.

She watched as he pushed off of the bar and moved closer to her.

“I’m afraid not.” he said lowly. “Still holding out hope, you see.”

Her heart clenched in her chest as she considered the implications behind his words.

_ Did he mean-? _

“Clarke! Bellamy!” Harper called from the booth in the corner.

Clarke looked up into his eyes that had grown very dark as she passed by, her shoulder brushing against his chest.

  


\-----

  


Two hours of conversation and drinks later and Clarke was suddenly sad she was leaving for Europe.

She watched as Bellamy smiled brightly at Monty as they talked about something that happened in Atlanta the weekend before and she could feel sadness creeping in.

“Excuse me.” she murmured quietly to Harper who nodded at her.

Making her way to the bathroom, she was grateful to see no one inside as she bent down and splashed water into her face, cooling down.

Watching her reflection in the mirror, she grew frustrated at her own weakness.

One night and now suddenly she wanted to stay home from a trip to London all because of some guy?

She dried her face off and gave herself a quiet pep talk, refusing to allow herself to succumb to sadness on a night of celebration.

Pulling open the door to the bathroom, she stepped out into the dark hallway only to find herself being tugged into a small alcove off the hall where an old pay phone was hanging on the wall.

Her back was pressed against the wooden paneling on the wall and she had just enough time to look up into the eyes of Bellamy before he descended, his lips meeting hers in a hungry kiss.

She moaned instantly, her hands threading through his hair, holding onto the curly strands for dear life.

They kissed the way they fought.

Passionately, without room for argument, both refusing to back down.

His hands traced a path up and down her rib cage, his thumbs brushing against her breasts that were heaving under her thin sweater as she struggled to breathe properly.

When he finally did let her breathe, his lips left her mouth to trace small kisses over her jaw and down her neck, pulling the collar of her sweater aside to lick and bite the skin of her collarbone.

“B-Bellamy.” she whispered, her breath ragged with no hope of recovery.

He didn’t respond, instead his left hand lifted to engulf her breast in his hand, squeezing lightly, his thumb brushing back and forth across her now visible nipple.

“W-” she breathed out, groaning, her head falling back against the wood behind her. “What are you-”

She gasped as Bellamy bit down more harshly then, her hand moving to clap over her mouth, an attempt to contain her moans.

Bellamy’s hands both enclosed around her waist then, his fingers reaching one another in the middle her back before he traced a slow, soft line from her spine around her front to the button of her jeans.

Her head snapped up from its place on the wall as she realized his intention.

“Bell-”

“Shh.” he murmured, his lips finding hers again. “Something to remember me by when your around all those douchey guys with accents.”

He finally finished unbuttoning her jeans and swiftly pulled the material down just enough to give him room to work as he pushed her panties aside, tracing a slow line back and forth down her slit, gathering the wetness at her entrance and rubbing small circles on her clit.

“Oh god.” she groaned, her head falling back once more, leaving his lips to find her neck again.

Her breath hitched as he suddenly pushed one finger inside of her, unused to the intrusion. Before she could even resume normal breathing, he added a second, stretching her open much wider than her own fingers were capable of doing.

“Bellamy.” she breathed as he started a punishing pace, pushing and pulling out of her, his thumb giving constant attention to her pulsing clit.

“I’ve dreamed of you like this.” he admitted into her ear, his teeth biting down on the shell. “Falling apart in my arms.” she was going to lose it quickly if he kept that up. “Stopping your incessant arguing by taking your breath away completely.

One of her hands was anchored in his hair while the other clenched tightly around the muscles of his upper arm.

He paused for a moment, apparently considering, before he added a third finger slowly, swallowing her whimpers with his mouth, his left hand tugging her head up to meet his.

It didn’t take much more after that as she tumbled over the edge of completion, slumping back against the wall of the unused alcove at the back of the bar.

She winced as he withdrew, his wet hand tracing lightly across her stomach to wrap around her waist as he pulled her in closer, kissing her deeply before backing off, pressing small kisses on her lips. 

His mouth retreated and then they were just breathing into one another, chests rising and falling in tandem.

After a beat, he was pulling her jeans back up and into place, buttoning them closed.

“Have fun in London, Princess.” he breathed, leaning forward and kissing her cheek lightly before he pulled away.

His eyes fell to her neck as he pushed her collar out of the way again, his fingers tracing the spot he had found earlier.

He smiled.

And then he was gone.

She waited a minute and then she rushed to the bathroom, splashing water in her face _ again _, in awe over what just happened.

Looking at her reflection in the mirror, she pushed her hair out of her face, floundering to find some semblance of reason in her current situation.

With shaking fingers, she pulled her collar aside to see that he had left a mark on her, stark against the paleness of her skin.

  


\-----

**Now**

He had left more than a physical mark on her that night.

She’d gone to Europe on a high. 

Excited to study but also in a hurry to get back.

You know what they say.

The higher you hope, the harder you fall.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh oh.
> 
> Whatever happens next must not be good. 
> 
> Right?
> 
> Those snippets of Harper make me so sad when I write them knowing that she's now dead in the present.
> 
> And on the show.
> 
> Damn it, Jason.
> 
> Anywho.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this week's installment. We're halfway done with this fic!
> 
> My NEXT fic is going to be another novel-length fic in the realm of FANTASY, people. I'm super nervous as I'm creating my own world in this one.
> 
> It's crazy.
> 
> Chapter 3 of Life As We Knew It will post next Sunday!
> 
> Until next time...
> 
> -Mally


	3. His Offer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!
> 
> See you on the flip side ;)

**His Offer**

The sound of Bellamy moving around downstairs and the bright squeal of Jordan’s giggles reached her ears even from her place in Harper and Monty’s bedroom.

She hadn’t wanted to do it.

Pack everything away.

Bellamy hadn’t either.

But, eventually, it had to happen.

She had been walking by their door on her way downstairs when she paused to stare at it, as if it had all the answers.

So she’d twisted the door knob and pushed it open, making her way inside and immediately sighing at the smell assaulting her senses.

_ Harper. _

Tears came unbidden then as she found herself unable to cope with the unexpected wave of emotion hitting her.

What was she supposed to do? How was she supposed to keep going without Harper?

It had been weeks now and still she found herself waiting for Harper’s name to flash across the screen of her cell phone. Each time she walked into the front door of their house, she expected to hear Harper call her name from the kitchen while the Beach Boys played on the Google Speakers throughout the downstairs.

Would it ever stop?

Now, looking around her friend’s shared bedroom, she couldn’t help but smile through her tears.

Poor Monty.

The room had been completely taken over by Harper.

Her various Bath and Body Works products were scattered across the dresser and an inexplicable amount of throw pillows littered the bed, all of various sizes, shapes, and colors.

She gasped when she realized that Harper’s pajamas were still lying on the floor next to the closet where she had obviously changed clothes for the last time before-

Shocked, she felt her breath catch as she sobbed, her hand coming to rest on her open mouth as she fell to the floor.

Clutching her knees to her chest, she leaned back against the wall beside the door and looked around the room, searching for all of the other small signs of her best friend.

Her house slippers just sticking out from under her side of the bed, the box of fitness gear in the bottom of the open closet, the bright pink robe hanging on the back of the door leading to the en suite bathroom.

So many reminders.

So many things left untouched, gathering dust.

Her sobs abated but her tears kept streaming as she stared at a scarf hanging from a hook on the back of the closet door.

It was colorful and covered in spring flowers, so bright and full of life.

So Harper.

_ “It’s SPRING, Clarke! We must dress like it!” _

A voice drifted through her memories, Harper’s smile, brilliant behind her closed eyelids, lured her to another time, another place.

One she had never planned on revisiting.

  
  


\-----

  
  


**May 2017**

“Just because it’s spring doesn’t mean people have to wear certain clothes, H.” Clarke mused as they walked leisurely down the sidewalk, the setting sun casting a brilliant orange glow in front of them.

Harper laughed, pulling on the bright colored scarf around her neck, the flowers a stark mixture of decidedly “spring” colors.

“That’s  _ exactly _ what it means, Grumps.” 

She watched as her friend turned to grin at her before taking her hand and pulling her across the street to a small bar at the end of the block.

Clarke’s brow scrunched in confusion, staring up at the dark letters spelling out the bar’s name.

“What is this place?” she asked. “We’ve never been here before.”

Harper rolled her eyes and moved toward the front door between the two large windows, an equally large scrawl declaring the place an “Irish Pub” was plastered across the glass.

“You got back to the states two hours ago and already you’re assuming no one kept living while you were gone.” her friend muttered playfully. “This is our new gathering in the city. We’re about to graduate, you know”

Pulling open the door, she pulled Clarke inside and immediately headed toward a large booth in the corner of the room. It was big and round and entirely too much table space for just the two of them.

“Are more people joining us?” she asked, confused.

Harper shook her head as she took her seat, sliding in toward the middle of the rounded bench so that the two of them were facing the bar on the opposite side of the room.

“Nope. But this is our booth. We love the booth.” she stated as if it was a matter of fact and not opinion.

Clarke rolled her eyes and removed her light jacket, placing it on the wide open bench space beside her.

“Whatever you say, weirdo.”

Harper chuckled.

“You’ll thank me in about” she looked down at her watch. “Five minutes.”

Clarke turned to her friend, confused once more.

“Wha-”

At that moment, the sound of the entrance opening drew Harper’s gaze so Clarke joined her and the two of them watched as a head of dark brown curls ducked inside, hands coming up to push them back from his eyes.

The breath wooshed out of her at that moment, watching Bellamy Blake walk into the pub. Eyeing him from afar as his eyes went immediately to the person behind the bar, nodding in greeting.

He didn’t even notice the two of them as he made his way to the end of the bar, pushing open the swinging door and disappearing into the back.

Clarke swiveled swiftly in her seat, eyes narrowing and hands clenching together on the table top.

“You said no one else was coming.” she hissed lowly.

Harper grinned and flipped her hair behind her shoulder.

“No one  _ is _ coming.” she nodded toward where Bellamy had disappeared. “He’s  _ working. _ ”

Clarke snorted and crossed her arms across her chest.

“I can’t believe you would bring me here. Out in the open like this. He and I haven’t even talked since-” she abruptly stopped speaking, her cheeks turning red at the memory of their last encounter.

“Since he got you off in a dark corner of a bar?”

She flinched, slapping Harper on the shoulder spitefully.

“ _ Jesus,  _ Harper, could you  _ not? _ ” she said through clenched teeth.

Harper giggled, watching her friend with amusement.

“What? Remind you of the best night of my life?” she mused, flagging down a server.

“The best night of  _ your _ life? I’ll make sure that Monty knows that.” Clarke grumbled, leaning back against the wooden backing of the booth and trying to hide from the bar.

“A Jameson on the rocks and a Peach Cider, please.” Harper ordered. “And tell Bellamy we say ‘hello’” her friend grinned.

The server smiled and nodded, walking back to the bar.

“I hate you.” Clarke mumbled, her hands rubbing against her cheeks.

“No you don’t.” Harper taunted in a sing-song voice.

Moments later Bellamy walked out of the back and moved behind the big, wooden bar. The two of them watched as the server went up to him, giving their order.

Two seconds later, his head snapped up, his gaze immediately finding the two of them in the corner booth.

She could feel Harper waving beside her and she bit down on her bottom lip, watching his face as he registered that she was there.

His eyes narrowed, suddenly heated and he smirked in her direction before he grinned widely, shaking his head and moving to fill their drink order.

“I hate you.” she said again, this time a whisper that she obviously didn’t mean, tinged with longing.

“Sure, dork.”

  
  


\--

  
  


She listened to Harper go on about the hiking trails she and Monty had discovered while she was studying in Europe, but her eyes were secretly glancing at Bellamy, wondering how she was going to approach him.

He had been working all night, never pausing to come speak to them in spite of the slow amount of patrons.

She guessed it  _ would _ be unprofessional of him, but a part of her ate away at her nerves, knowing Bellamy’s history with women.

_ You’re just another notch, Clarke. Really. Did you expect him to roll out the welcome mat and declare his love for you or something? _

“Clarke? Harper?” A voice brought both of them to attention, a familiar face rounding the corner of the booth, smiling in their direction.

“Atom!” Clarke smiled at their mutual friend from campus, standing to hug him and offer him a seat on the empty bench next to her. “What are you doing here?”

Atom chuckled, leaning over the table to fist bump Harper.

“What most people are doing, I guess. Getting sloshed before we graduate and head into the real world. Getting jobs and all that shit.” he made eye contact with the server putting his hand up politely.

She and Harper chuckled.

“And Roma? Where is she?” Clarke asked politely, recalling the name of his girlfriend from last semester.

“Off somewhere with her new boyfriend, I imagine.” Atom chuckled. “You’ve been gone a while, Griffin.”

She cringed slightly as he laughed and leaned into him, tapping her shoulder against his.

“I’m sorry, okay. How the hell was I supposed to know?”

He continued laughing and Harper joined in, asking him about his exams.

They sat there for a while, chatting amicably, before Atom excused himself.

“Well, I gotta be off..” he sighed, throwing money down on the table top. “Besides, can’t be sitting around with you losers all night. Looks bad.”

Clarke rolled her eyes and pushed on his shoulder playfully as he stood.

“Whatever, asshole. See you at graduation.”

Atom smiled and nodded at the two of them.

“Ladies.” he tipped an imaginary hat and made his way out of the bar.

The two of them waved and smiled, watching as he exited.

“Do you ever think about the people we met in college?” Harper asked, sighing. “Like, will we ever actually see Atom again? Any of them?”

Clarke shook her head slightly.

“Sadly, probably not. After college, everyone scatters. You and I? We’ll be here in the city. Everyone else? Who knows?” she shrugged, gulping down the last of her whiskey.

Looking up, she noticed that some girl was behind the bar now.

“Where’s Bellamy?” she asked before she could stop herself. 

She felt Harper huff beside her, looking down at his watch.

“Monty told me his shift wasn’t over until closing.” she pouted as Clarke looked over.

Clarke looked back toward the bar, watching the replacement smile at the patrons sitting across from it.

“He left without even saying hello?” Clarke asked, that nagging anxiety eating away at her once more.

Harper sighed.

“I’m sure it wasn’t intentional, Clarke. Maybe an emergency came up with Octavia.”

The anxiety remained.

“Yeah.” she murmured. “Probably.”

  
  


\---

  
  


She sighed unhappily from her place on the couch, her eyes glaring at the “Happy Graduation” banner balefully.

Why they were celebrating, she had no clue. How weren’t people as stressed out as she was?

Eyeing Harper in the corner playing some sort of drinking game with Monty, she knew her friend was celebrating because they were finally moving to the city. She and Monty were going to be living together finally - They had made the distance work and now it was all paying off.

“You could at least  _ try  _ and look happy.” a voice mused as a body plopped down beside her on the couch.

Her breath caught, the male tone surprising her, her heart hoping against all hopes-

Atom’s smiling face looked back at her. 

Her heart rate instantly slowed, disappointed.

“What’s there to be happy about? Life just got a lot more stressful. Even you mentioned it the other night.” she pointed out.

He laughed.

“It’s true.”

Atom kept her company for a while, the two of them chatting easily, no pressure in the conversation. She’d almost forgotten what it was like to talk to someone with just the intention of talking for that moment.

It was almost pleasant.

But it abruptly changed the second she saw  _ him. _

He was there.

She’d been waiting for him to show up, Harper reassuring her that he was coming, but now all she wanted was to disappear.

He was leaning against the wall, chatting closely with a girl, pressing her back against the wall’s flat surface, his hand resting on her waist as they spoke.

She could see his smarmy grin even from here.

“-and so I-” 

“I have to go.” she cut Atom off, abruptly standing from her place on the couch and moving toward Harper, watching as her friend bounced up and down, celebrating the game she was playing.

“H, I’m out, okay? I’ll text you when I get to the apartment.”

Harper immediately left the game and turned to her, her face serious suddenly.

“What? Why? I thought-”

She watched the moment her friend realized where Bellamy’s attentions were. Harper’s face turned to stone, anger coloring her features as she moved to push past Clarke in Bellamy’s direction.

“Harper! Wait, stop! No!” Clarke pushed back on her friend, forcing Harper to meet her eyes. “It’s not worth it.”

Harper’s eyes widened.

“Not  _ worth _ it?” she asked incredulously. “Clarke this is ridiculous. I don’t know what he’s doing but I no for a fact that Bellamy li-”

“No! It’s  _ not _ worth it. It was a mistake, obviously.” Clarke said calmly, her voice so level she surprised herself. “He-” she swallowed. “He obviously doesn’t feel the same, so I’m just gonna go home.”

She turned to leave then, Harper calling after her, but she didn’t stop until she was in her car and on her way home.

Swallowing, she gasped a deep breath, her hands reaching up to find tears streaking down her face.

  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  


**Now**

  
  


The tears had finally stopped and Clarke was still sitting there, waiting for the strength to get up to miraculously make its way into her body.

Her eyes landed on the boxes laying on top of the bed.

Monty and Harper’s belongings from the accident.

Bellamy had brought them in and the two of them had never thought about them again.

Now, she wanted to know.

What were the things so important to her best friend that she kept them with her until her last moments?

Pushing up from her spot on the floor, she made her way to the bed and opened the box slowly, reaching inside.

She pulled out toys first, things that Harper and Monty kept in the car to keep Jordan occupied while they drove from place to place.

Digging through the things, she stopped suddenly at the sight of Harper’s cell phone.

Pulling it out, she eyed it sadly, her fingers drifting over the rhinestone covered case that her friend had bought on Etsy.

_ “It’s so  _ ** _sparkly, _ ** _ Clarke! Look at it.” _

Harper had practically danced around the room when it arrived.

Her eyes drifted to the charging cable beside the bed and she instinctively reached to plug it in, watching as the little battery popped up on the screen.

She didn’t know why she was charging it.

Her mind drifted through the things that she could get from it. 

Pictures, passwords…

She sighed and continued looking through the box, bringing each item out and placing it on the bedspread.

Harper’s phone lit up from it’s cradle as it powered on from the corner of her eye.

She kept rummaging through the boxes, looking for anything that they needed to keep from the assortment of items.

Her phone beeped in her back pocket but she ignored it and kept looking until she’d seen everything.

Once she’d made a pile of the things to keep, she sat the boxes with disposables by the door, and looked around. She guessed she should keep going - Get boxes, pack up Monty and Harper’s stuff. Donate their clothes to the Goodwill.

Her eyes drifted to the scarf on the door.

Maybe keep a few things.

She reached into her back pocket and pulled out her phone, prepared to call Goodwill and ask about their pick up hours.

Her hand paused and she gasped, dropping her phone to the floor, the hard aluminum bouncing off the thick white carpet.

She stared at it, terrified, her heart beating through her chest and her eyes falling on Harper’s now-working phone on the nightstand.

A beat later, she picked her phone up, lighting the screen once more.

A Snapchat notification.

From Harper.

_ How? It wasn’t possible. _

She eyed Harper’s phone again and pondered.

Maybe her phone had died before the snap had sent? Or she hadn’t had service?

Either way, there was a very real message from her lost best friend now staring back at her from her phone screen.

Her hands were shaking as she slid across the notification opening the app on her phone.

The tiny purple square stared back at her, letting her know that Harper’s last message to her was a video.

It wasn’t a text message.

_ Maybe it’s time. _

What had been so important that Harper couldn’t say it with a text message?

She inhaled deeply and opened the message.

_ “Clarkeeeeyyyy”  _

She gasped, her eyes instantly filling with tears at the sight of her friend smiling drunkenly at the camera.

_ “Clarkey, listen. I know I just texted you but I wanted to tell you this story and-” Harper giggled. “And honestly I’m waaay too drunk to type this much so anywho.” she sighed. “Bellamy wouldn’t let Monty tell you so  _ ** _I _ ** _ decided to tell you anyways because Bellamy Blake doesn’t tell me what to do.” _

Clarke smiled at the screen, her heart clenched in her chest.

_ “Monty and Bell met their freshman year of college. See there was this girl.” Harper paused to roll her eyes. “Trollop, that one. Anywho, the girl - Monty was dating her. She cheated on him  _ ** _all the time, _ ** _ Clarke. I can’t even  _ ** _imagine._ ** _ So she was trying to hook up with Bellamy one night and Monty’s name popped up on her phone. When he asked her about it she mentioned it was her ‘stupid boyfriend.’ Well, Bellamy didn’t like that too much so he left her there. Told her that she should rethink her decisions. See, Bellamy could’ve just left it at that. But oh no, not Bellamy. Too good of a guy.”  _

Harper’s eyes narrowed then, and even through a video, Clarke could still feel their effect in her bones.

_ “He tracked Monty down. Turned out they were even in the same Dorm building. He found Monty, told him what was happening, and the two of them have been best friends since.”  _

Harper sighed, her eyes looking over at Monty who was saying something in the background. Clarke ached to know what it was he was saying. To hear Monty’s voice one last time.

_ “So that’s how they met.  _ ** _Why_ ** _ Bellamy wouldn’t let Monty tell you that, I don’t know.” Harper rolled her eyes. “Actually, I probably do know. Like I told you at Jordan’s birthday party, he-” _

The video cut off and took a piece of Clarke’s soul with it.

She immediately pressed down on Harper’s name, refilling the little square so that she could watch it again later with screen record.

Her heart was beating fast, thinking about Harper’s final message.

Her eyes closed sadly.

It was so  _ hard. _

Not just hearing Harper’s message but also T\trying to reconcile  _ this _ Bellamy, the one that she sometimes glimpsed with the Bellamy who slept around and ripped her heart to shreds. The one who, for the last two years, bickered with her and acted as if they weren’t even friends.

He hated her.

_ Does he? _

Suddenly, she wasn’t so sure.

She was looking back on all of their interactions in a brand new light, considering for the first time that  _ she _ started most of their fights. Nagging at him, saying mean things.

It was like she didn’t have control over it.

As much as she wanted to hate him, she couldn’t.

And she still wanted his attention.

Whenever he was around, it was as if they were magnets, inexplicably drawn to one another for no apparent reason.

Her heart longed to know his, as much as she chose to deny it.

“Clarke!”

Bellamy’s voice made her jump where she was standing, her brain having previously drowned out all the sounds coming up the stairs.

“Yeah?” her voice sounded weak and broken.

“You better come see this!”

She jumped into action then, racing out the door and down the stairs, skidding to a halt in the kitchen.

“Look!” Bellamy said with a grin, gesturing to Jordan.

Jordan, who was…  _ eating. _

She watched as Bellamy held up a spoon full of baby food to Jordan’s face and he leaned forward, swallowing it in one bite.

She laughed in delight, tears coming  _ again. _

At this rate she was going to have a headache.

But Jordan was eating.

They could do this.

They really could.

She found herself suddenly swept up in his embrace, his laugh ringing as he lifted her off her feet and spun her around in a circle before he placed her back on the ground. 

She laughed lightly as Bellamy’s eyes found hers and she saw in his gaze her own convictions until it quickly changed, a frown marring his features.

“Clarke - Have you been crying?” his hand drifted up, brushing her hair out of her face from where it had fallen out of her ponytail and pushing it behind her ear.

_ Too good of a guy. _

Harper’s voice drifted again.

“I-” she stuttered, her hands wiping at the fresh tears, her skin burning at her waist where his hand rested softly. “I was going through Monty and Harper’s boxes.” she whispered.

Bellamy’s face fell, his eyes devastated as he swallowed, his adam’s apple bobbing as he nodded.

“Yeah.” he said hoarsely, his hand squeezing her hip. “That’s good. I guess it’s time, isn’t it?”

She nodded.

Yeah.

It was time.

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  


Sighing, she flicked the lightswitch in the bathroom and stepped out into the hallway, preparing to go straight to bed.

Two doors down, Bellamy emerged, quietly shutting the door behind him.

His eyes jumped to hers.

“Jordan asleep?” she asked quietly.

Bellamy nodded and leaned against the door frame on the opposite side of the hall that led to her room.

“Yeah.” he said. “Went quietly this evening, no fuss. Don’t look now, Griffin, but we might be getting good at this.”

She watched his hand move, running his fingers through his dark curls and she felt it in her very core, her fingers twitching at her sides.

They  _ were _ good at this.

The two of them.

Together.

Unhurried, she let her eyes roam over him, taking in the stubble on his jaw and the way his t-shirt clung to the muscles on his arms.

He hadn’t been working part time shifts at the bar after work anymore. Not since Jordan. It was too time consuming to work a full time job at the network and raise a child, but a part of her missed watching him work. The way the tendons in his forearms would clench as he prepared drinks, the grin he would charm his customers with.

“Clarke?” his deep voice brought her back to the present, her eyes meeting his questioning ones.

It was too much.

Reliving her memories, hearing Harper’s story, knowing that there just wasn’t a way out. 

She’d never be able to get over him. The way that he made her feel.

The way her pulse was currently racing just looking at him, as always.

She didn’t have all the answers, but she knew that there was no escaping it.

And as much as she wanted to hate herself for being weak, she couldn’t.

Refusing to allow herself to think about it too much, she moved, making her way down the hall to where he was standing, watching her warily, trying to figure out her game.

But it wasn’t a game.

Not anymore.

Maybe it never was.

She stopped when she was inches away, his breathing mingling with hers.

He straightened then, moving slowly and leaning into her even more.

“Tell me not to.” he whispered, the promise in his words warming her inside and flaming through her veins.

She met him in the middle, her lips just brushing his as she watched his eyes flutter closed.

“No.” she murmured.

A second passed, her heart beating outside of her chest, and then they were moving.

Bellamy’s hands engulfed her waist, pushing her back into the wall beside the door, the thud louder than he probably intended as his lips closed on hers.

She moaned, her hands finding purchase on his upper arms, relishing in the warmth of his skin as he pressed into her, his chest against hers.

Her mouth opened, inviting him in and he took it without question, his hands digging into the small of her back as he swallowed her small noises.

Releasing her mouth, he leaned his forehead against hers for a moment, his eyes digging into hers, dark with promise.

Their collective heavy breathing echoed in the silent darkness of the hallway, so different from the last time they were in this position, the loud noises of the bar drifting toward them.

He leaned in again his teeth nibbling on her earlobe, pulling slightly and causing her to gasp as her hands move to his hair, holding him against her.

His hands fell to the hem of her short nightgown, pushing underneath it and sliding up her thighs until he was gripping her hips once more, his fingers digging into her backside as she found herself wrapped around his waist, her thighs gripping him tightly as he moved.

Their breathing was deafening still in her bedroom as he closed the door behind them, swearing softly at the harsh sound.

He sat her down on top of the dresser, her core pressing against the bulge of his jeans.

She felt herself blush at the obscene way her nightgown was riding up her thighs, exposing her center completely and offering him a space to stand between them, but she couldn’t be bothered to care.

“Tell me to stop.” he said again, his voice breaking as his hand moved to the strap of fabric on her shoulder, pulling it down her shoulder so harshly, it snapped in his hand, stinging smartly against her skin.

“Oh God.” she gasped as his lips found that same spot from all of those years ago, his tongue leaving a trail down her chest as he exposed her breast to the room, her nipple pebbling in the cool bedroom air. “Please don’t stop.” she whispered.

He moved more hurriedly then, grasping the other strap and giving it the same treatment, this one miraculously withstanding the harsh pull and falling limply at her elbow, forgotten, as his hands found her breasts.

Her head fell back against the wall behind her as he weighed them in his hands, softly squeezing as his thumbs traced back and forth, maddeningly tracing over her nipples.

His lips found hers again as he continued his teasing, his right hand abandoning its work and moving to the inside of her thighs.

She fell back again, inhaling short, quick breaths as his fingers found her dripping and ready, eager for his attention.

“So good.” he breathed as he gathered up her wetness and pushed inside, two fingers stretching and probing. 

  
She cried out, her arms wrapping around his shoulders and pulling his face to her neck as he breathed her in.

“Bellamy” she moaned, her fingers threading through his hair, her core clenching around him as he thrust in and out slowly, adding a third suddenly.

“Clarke” he murmured in return, dropping a kiss on the spot he loved so much as his fingers brought her to completion.

She was still gasping for air as she felt him move, again wrapping her legs around his waist before laying her down on the bed and leaning back to take off his shirt.

“Last chance, Princess.” he said, his voice broken and deep as he looked down into her eyes, his fingers tracing lightly down the side of her face.

Instead of answering, she looked up at him through half-closed lids and reached blindly for his waist, pulling him bodily down on top of her.

He caught himself with his hands on either side of her head as she worked to undo his jeans, almost reaching inside to feel him at last, when she found her hands pulled away and pressed into the sheets over her head.

“Easy.” he muttered.

She maintained eye contact with him as she tilted her head to the side and kissed the inside of his wrist where it was lingering next to her head.

He moved off of her slightly, pushing his jeans and briefs down his legs and throwing them to the floor, but not before grabbing a condom from his wallet.

She eyed him hungrily in the lamplight as he crawled back on top of her, her eyes widening only slightly at the size of him.

He chuckled lightly, pushing her thighs open as her nightgown fell to a pile around her waist.

He gripped her left thigh tightly and held it up and open, hooking it around his elbow as he lowered to her body.

She waited to feel him enter her, her eyes falling closed.

When he didn’t move, she opened them again to find him watching her.

“Please.” she wanted to feel embarrassed, but she had waited for him, for  _ this, _ for so long she just wanted to feel him inside her as soon as possible.

“Anything for you, Princess.” he promised as he found her entrance, his dick sliding through her folds teasingly before he finally pressed inside.

She whimpered softly at the feeling, her body unused to the intrusion, and his left hand lifted to hold the side of her face in his hand.

“It’s okay.” he said softly as he pressed forward more, finally reaching so far inside of her, so perfectly, that it could only be described as home.

He felt like  _ home _ .

Waiting a bit, he leaned down, kissing her once more, his hand squeezing her thigh tightly in his grip as he started to move.

She felt her insides start to clench once more at the motion, her walls clinging to him tightly as he retreated and then pushed again, his pace quickening with each small whimper she inadvertently released.

“Come on.” he urged, pushing her thigh further up her body and reaching even further inside. “That’s it.”

It felt so good she wanted to cry, her hands clenching his arms once more as she lost all control of the sounds she was making, yelping with each harsh thrust.

The blood rushed to her ears as her eyes fluttered shut, unable to watch him any longer as she fell over the edge, the toes of her right foot curling into the sheets below her.

“Fuck” she vaguely heard Bellamy curse through the haze in her mind and then he stilled, his forehead pressing against hers.

When she finally felt her senses return to her completely, her hands shakily slid down his shoulders to his back, caressing up and down soothingly.

Too soon, he was pulling away, leaving her feeling empty in his wake.

He sat back on his knees as he released her leg, lowering it to the bed.

She winced slightly at the cramp in her hip and she watched as Bellamy’s hand landed there, his fingers massaging the spot gently, rubbing the soreness away.

She sighed at the feeling, leaning into his touch.

He lowered again, his lips brushing against hers twice, softly, before he fell to her side, his arm falling on her waist and pulling her into his chest.

She burrowed her face into his neck, breathing deeply, inhaling his scent.

Minutes later, when their breathing had evened and she was almost asleep, he spoke. So softly, she wondered if she’d dreamed it.

“Sweet dreams, Princess.”

* * *

  
  
  
  


**February 2018**

  
  


“Stop it, Clarke. You’re being dramatic.” Harper scolded as she shut the refrigerator door with her hip, holding the giant aluminum container full of watermelon slices with both of her arms as she plopped it down onto the kitchen island.

“I’m not dramatic.” Clarke mumbled as she followed Harper into the giant sitting room .

She and Monty had just bought their new house and were hosting an “indoor cookout” to honor the occasion.

“I didn’t say  _ you _ were dramatic. I said you were  _ being _ dramatic. There’s a difference.” Harper chirped as she walked up to Monty, wrapping her arms around him from behind and kissing his shoulder.

“Hey” he said softly, turning in her arms and kissing her forehead sweetly. “Bellamy is two minutes away, he just called.”

“Excellent” Clarke mumbled to herself.

“Drama Queen.” Harper said cheerily.

Apparently she needed to work on her mumbling.

True to word, two minutes later, Bellamy Blake walked through the front door looking as beautiful as ever and she shivered at the way he took of his fucking jacket.

_ Useless, Clarke. Stop it. _

“Griffin.” he greeted with a smirk.

“Asshat.” she said through clenched teeth.

He chuckled as he joined her at her side, the two of them facing the living room full of people, their backs to the kitchen.

“When are you gonna admit this whole ‘hating me’ thing is just a cover for how much you secretly want me.”

She stiffened slightly, her core clenching against her will at the reminder of the way he had made her feel that night in the bar.

“What? No company tonight, Blake? Careful, I’m starting to think you’ve lost your touch.”

She felt him turn toward her and jumped at the feeling of his lips so close to her ear.

“I think we both know that’s not true, Princess.”

Frustratingly, she felt herself react to his close proximity, her eyes closing and her pulse pounding in her ears.

Gathering her strength, she turned to meet his stare head on.

“Better run off and find your date for the night, Blake. I don’t think there are many single people left in the group.”

She watched as he smiled then, a real smile, and it was so heartbreakingly genuine that it made her weak in the knees.

“Nah.” he brushed her hair behind her shoulder softly. “I’m right where I want to be.”

She shivered at his words, swearing internally at her heart’s weakness for him, wanting to believe what he was saying was  _ true _ and not just another slimey pick up line.

“Can we have your attention!” Harper’s voice cut through their tension and the two of them turned to face Harper and Monty who were standing by the giant window looking out over the front yard. “Monty and I have an announcement to make!”

Clarke’s throat clogged as she suddenly registered what Harper was going to say right before she said it.

“We’re pregnant!” Harper squealed, her eyes finding Clarke’s across the room.

Clarke immediately grinned, making her way to her friend and embracing her with everything she had, Bellamy Blake forgotten behind her.

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


**Now**

  
  


The bright sunshine filtered in through the shades on her window facing the street and she blinked wearily at the sharpness of its glare.

She jumped slightly at the sudden movement of something behind her and she registered that there was an arm wrapped around her waist, holding her into a very warm body.

_ Oh God. _

Bellamy.

The events of the night before came back to her and before she could properly freak out about it, she calmed, remembering how good it felt.

How  _ right. _

They needed to talk, obviously.

She’d spent years thinking the worst of him only to be proven wrong time and time again that he wasn’t  _ actually _ a terrible person.

And he wanted her.

The way she wanted him.

So there  _ had _ to be an explanation.

One that she would get when they talked about it.

Her fingers drifted lightly over the back of his hand remembering her chat with Harper the month before her death.

The one that had first opened her mind to the possibility that maybe she’d been wrong about Bellamy all those years.

_ “He’s alone again.” _

_ Harper walked up beside her, balancing Jordan on her hip as she watched Bellamy and Monty interact on the other side of the lawn. _

_ “I’m aware.” Clarke said flatly. “Its a child’s birthday party. Not really a  _ ** _date_ ** _ event, I guess.” _

_ Harper sighed. _

_ “Clarke.” she started. “He’s  _ ** _been_ ** _ alone. Haven’t you noticed at all?” _

_ She thought then, back to all their group gatherings and realized that she hadn’t seen Bellamy with a date in- _

_ She couldn’t remember how long. _

_ “Maybe.” she mumbled. _

_ “Bellamy’s been alone for over two years.” _

_ Clarke paused, her mind racing as she struggled to make sense of that. _

_ “Since May 2017, specifically.” Harper said, coming round to stand in front of Clarke and cutting off her view. “And I promise you - Its by choice.” _

_ She turned around and walked away leaving Clarke to her thoughts. _

Bellamy’s skin was soft under her fingertips as she remembered the way Harper had admonished her at the bar the night she died.

Wondering why Clarke still hadn’t talked to him about it.

Because she knew that Clarke had figured out the meaning behind her words.

That Bellamy hadn’t dated anyone since she graduated college.

Well, they  _ had _ to talk about it now, she supposed.

She had made her choice the night before.

And he had given her plenty of opportunities to back out of it.

Sighing, she slowly extricated herself from Bellamy’s embrace and made her way downstairs as quietly as possible, careful not to wake him or Jordan.

When she made it to the kitchen, she grabbed the orange juice from the refrigerator and took a swig straight from the jug.

Bellamy hated when she did that.

She smiled slightly at the thought before doing it again.

Turning, she leaned back against the countertop and faced the island, her eyes landing on Bellamy’s work documents laying open from where he’d left them the night before.

She stopped when she noticed the logo at the top of a page.

_ Fucking HBO? What? _

Excited for Bellamy, she immediately leaned forward to read the little bit that was sticking out underneath other papers, wondering why he hadn’t mentioned anything.

“ _ Mr. Blake, Thank you so much for your consideration of our position. We’re pleased to formally extend-” _

The page was cut off and she couldn’t read the rest, so she pulled it out the rest of the way, eagerly devouring it.

“ _ -to you the Executive Producer position. We look forward to meeting you upon your move to California. In this packet-” _

She stopped.

Her heart refused to work as she reread the letter.

“ _ We look forward to meeting you upon your move to California. _ ”

Suddenly, she couldn’t breathe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh oh.
> 
> Sigh.
> 
> Bellamy, Bellamy, Bellamy.
> 
> SO SO SO SO SO SO SO sorry this is late. 
> 
> I've been unbelievably sick. TWICE I've been sick in the past week. Even as I type, one of my eyes isn't up to par (So I apologize for all typos and grammatical errors).
> 
> The last chapter will still post tomorrow, as planned.
> 
> Until then...
> 
> -Mally


	4. Her Confession

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And last but not least...
> 
> See you on the flip side ;)

**Her Confession**

  
  


She’d gone to work without saying anything.

What was there to say, really?

He was leaving.

Leaving her. And Jordan. Moving to California and never looking back and he hadn’t even  _ bothered _ to tell her.

She frequently started to hyperventilate while she worked on her ad campaign, stopping several times throughout the day to just regroup and calm herself back from the ledge.

Groaning, she placed her head in her hands, remembering how she’d all but  _ begged  _ him to sleep with her.

And the whole time, he was keeping this from her.

It was a one time thing for him. 

It had meant so much to her and he was just getting her out of his system before he moved to the other side of the country.

He’d texted at least three times.

**Bellamy ** _ Good Morning, Princess. Hate I missed you. ;) _

**Bellamy ** _ Are we meeting at the house before the party? And you’re getting off early today, right? I know we told Octavia we would be there by 3. _

**Bellamy ** _ Okay. I’m just gonna assume you’re super busy and your lack of response has nothing to do with what happened last night. Text me back, please. _

She stared down at her phone, biting her lip in frustration.

How should she confront him? What was the best plan of action?

They were having a dinner party at Octavia’s house that evening, so it wasn’t like she could ignore him for very long. Like he’d said, she was supposed to meet him at Octavia’s house in-

She looked down at her watch.

Two hours.

Sighing loudly, she huffed back into her seat and bit down on her lip just a little harder before she picked her phone up, quickly typing a response.

**Clarke** _Don’t be paranoid. See you at three._

It would have to do.

Technically, it wasn’t a lie either. She wasn’t freaking out because of the sex.

The sex had been-

_ Whew. _

Yeah, that wasn’t the issue.

The issue was his withholding life-changing information from her.

And she was panicking.

Could she even raise Jordan by herself? They were such a good team and Jordan was finally on a routine - How would he respond to Bellamy suddenly disappearing from his life too?

_ Stop it, Clarke. You’ll be fine. _

She would be.

She could do it.

If Bellamy wanted to abandon them for some fancy job on the west coast, then she and Jordan would be  _ just fine. _ She believed that.

Eventually, they would be totally okay.

Her phone buzzed against the wooden desktop and she picked it up immediately.

**Bellamy** _Right. We’ll talk later, Princess. See you there._

She should’ve known better than to think that Bellamy would actually believe her when she told him that he was just being paranoid. They’d known each other for too long, she supposed.

She looked down at her watch again.

An hour and fifty five minutes.

She sighed.

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


“Clarke!” Octavia greeted with a grin as she opened the front door, immediately pulling her into a tight hug. “Where’s Bell?”

Clarke smiled, trying to hide her wince.

“He uh- He’s coming. I came straight here from work.”

Octavia eyed her suspiciously, nodding as she closed the front door before leading her into the kitchen where the dinner prep was already happening.

“How’s Jordan?” she asked as she started chopping carrots. “Bellamy mentioned that he’s eating normally finally.”

Clarke thought about that, wondering how it was that Bellamy could be so open and happy regarding Jordan and his role as his pseudo-father when he was planning to pack up and leave them both behind.

“Yeah, he is. He’s doing really well.” she said softly, fiddling with the tie around the basil on the counter top, opening it and preparing her own cutting board. “The babysitter is with him this evening.”

She started chopping, working for a few minutes before she realized that Octavia had stopped.

Looking up, she found her looking at her with a narrowed gaze.

“You slept together.”

Clarke blushed furiously, preparing to open her mouth to deny, deny, deny, when Octavia held her hand up.

“Nope. Don’t deny it, you’ll look foolish.” Octavia chuckled and resumed her cutting. “I want to congratulate you both and say fucking  _ finally _ , but considering that you’re here at my house and not with him, I’m gonna go with there’s some regret happening.” she sighed, sitting the knife back down before looking at Clarke once more. “Don’t do this.”

Clarke blinked twice, mouth hanging open.

“D-Do what?”

Octavia sighed again, wiping her hands on her “Kiss the Cook” apron.

“Freak out. Regret. Take it back.” she walked around the island to stand in front of Clarke. “You two- You  _ belong _ together. Don’t you see that?”

Clarke swallowed, sitting her own knife down and ignoring the lump she swallowed in her throat.

“Maybe.” she whispered. “But he obviously doesn’t feel the same way.”

When Octavia didn’t respond, she looked back up again to find the other girl staring at her incredulously.

“You can’t be serious.” Octavia muttered. “Clarke. Didn’t you guys, I don’t know,  _ talk _ ? Or did you just jump straight to the deed?”

Clarke blushed again, coughing slightly.

“Right. Of course you did.” Octavia rolled her eyes. “Listen, if you think my brother is anything other than one hundred percent head-over-fucking-heels in love with you, you are sadly mistaken.”

Clarke coughed again, totally unprepared for Octavia’s statement.

“I’m sorry, wha-”

“No, you’re not sorry. You’re not an idiot, Clarke. Maybe oblivious, but not stupid. My brother has been waiting for you to give him another shot for  _ years. _ ”

Clarke was still having trouble breathing, having trouble reconciling  _ again. _

Why did it seem like everyone else seemed to know so much about her and Bellamy that she didn’t know about herself?

“Then why-”

She was cut off by the sound of the keys turning in the lock on the front door.

“O? Clarke?” 

The sound of Bellamy’s voice made her fall to pieces on the inside, simultaneously wanting to run into his arms and push him away.

“In here.” Octavia called, her eyes not leaving Clarke’s.

When he rounded the corner and saw the two of them staring, he stopped still, looking back and forth for a moment before speaking.

“Where’s the fire?” he questioned, confused, walking to stand beside Clarke.

Octavia smiled suddenly, holding up her knife.

“No fire yet, big brother. Just veggies. Mind lending a hand?”

Bellamy chuckled.

“Sure.” he leaned over, placing his hand on the small of her back to reach across her and grab his own knife.

She swallowed at the feeling of him so close, his chest brushing against her arm, the smell of him wafting over her and making her mouth water.

It was going to be a long night.

  
  


* * *

  
  


She had managed to adequately keep conversations and topics in a safe area for the night, especially as guests began to arrive.

Bellamy had tried to talk to her privately on more than one occasion but she had blessedly been interrupted.

And then Wells arrived.

“Oh God.” Clarke breathed, watching as he came in the front door and shook Octavia’s hand.

She felt Bellamy stiffen beside her and she supposed he must’ve seen what she had.

“The pediatrician?” he asked quietly, his voice heated.

“I-”

“Clarke!” Wells said softly, walking over and pulling her in for a hug.

“W-Wells.” she greeted in return, laughing nervously. “Good to see you. Here, let me formally introduce you to Octavia and Lincoln.”

She walked away, leading him to the couple in question, making introductions and studiously ignoring Octavia’s knowing glare, watching her eyes flicker over to her brother every so often.

When all was over, she was left with just Wells. Clarke turned to him, already dreading the conversation.

“Listen, I’m glad you could come and meet them, but we need to talk.” she started, grabbing Wells’ attention.

He smiled at her.

“Of course, I-”

“Clarke.”

She shivered at the tone of his voice, it’s deepness reaching her in places she was ashamed to admit.

Clenching her teeth, she turned to face Bellamy.

“Yes?” 

“We need to talk.” he insisted, grabbing her hand and pulling her away from Wells and into the downstairs office, shutting the door behind them. “The doctor? Really?”

He seemed so sad that she could almost forgive his obvious jealous anger, but at the moment, she knew more than he thought she did and he didn’t have a leg to stand on.

“I invited him here to meet Octavia and Lincoln. Having a baby, remember? Need a doctor?”

Bellamy’s angry expression cleared and he at least looked ashamed.

“And actually, I was just about to explain to him that we weren’t going to be seeing one another socially anymore before you so  _ rudely interrupted. _ ”

Bellamy swore, running his fingers through his hair as he turned away briefly before swiveling back around.

“I’m sorry. I am. But you weren’t answering my texts  _ all day.  _ I’ve spent the entire day thinking of worst case scenarios, Clarke. Years.  _ Years. _ That’s how long I’ve waited for the chance to talk to you and the idea that I might have fucked everything up somehow without actually knowing it?” he stepped into her space, breathing heavily. “I’ve been  _ terrified. _ ”

She scoffed, stepping back, crossing her arms protectively over her chest.

“You have  _ some nerve, _ Bellamy Blake.” she said, her voice growing higher with each word. “ _ You’ve  _ been terrified? When were you going to tell me, hm?” she asked, stepping back in and poking his chest. “When were you planning to tell me about California, Bellamy?”

He froze, his mouth opening in shock, closing and opening once more as if he couldn’t fully process what she was asking.

“Calif-” he started but she cut him off.

“Yes,  _ California. _ The job you took in California with HBO.” she laughed mirthlessly, pulling on the roots of her hair, feeling tears of sadness and anger welling in the corners of her eyes. 

Bellamy’s head fell backward, his eyes closing.

“Clarke. There  _ is _ no job in California.”

She sobbed then, unable to hold it in any longer as she stared at him in disbelief.

“I  _ saw it,  _ Bellamy. Sticking out of your work documents. The offer. I  _ know _ .”

He sighed and stepped in closer, but she pushed him away again, her hands holding him back.

“No!” she exhaled shakily. “I can’t believe you would lie to me. And now you’ve lied to me  _ again. _ ”

She pushed away walking quickly to the living room, grabbing her stuff on the way out of the kitchen.

“Clarke, wait!”

She was full on crying now, pushing her way through the crowd of people toward the front door, ignoring Octavia who she could see panicking out of the corner of her eye.

She just needed space.

Rushing out the door, she flung herself in her car and backed out of the driveway, Bellamy’s figure exiting the house lit up by her headlights as she drove away.

  
  
  
  
  


Once she got to the house, she realized that she had been a little overzealous, leaving the party.

She knew that.

Sure, he’d lied, but she hadn’t even given him a chance to explain himself.

So she wiped her tears and took up camp on the couch after she dismissed the babysitter.

Jordan was already in bed, so she sat quietly in the dark living room, staring at the front door and waited for him to come home.

It was an hour later when she realized for the first time that he might not be  _ coming _ home.

Fishing her phone from her pocket, she checked to make sure that she hadn’t missed any text messages, but there were none.

So she stayed and waited, determined to talk to him as soon as he got there.

  
  


-

Jolting awake, she looked around the room, realizing that she had fallen asleep on the couch and sunlight was now streaming in through the living room window.

The sound of Jordan’s soft yells reached her ears and she sighed, realizing that his waking up was what had woken her up.

When she made to his bedroom, he was standing in his crib, reaching up with his hands, a smile on his face.

“Hey baby.” she greeted, her voice still hoarse from sleep. “Good morning. Did you sleep well?”

Jordan giggled when she picked him up, his arms wrapping around her neck as he snuggled into her.

“Mama!”

She paused.

Her throat catching as the small word made its way into her brain and computed in meaning.

_ Mama. _

A vision of Harper appeared behind her eyes and she felt a tear roll down her cheek.

One day, she vowed. One day he would know his mother.

“Yeah, baby. I’m your mama too.”

He lifted his head from her chest, looking up at her with wide eyes.

“Dada?”

The tears kept coming and suddenly she realized what he meant.

_ Bellamy. _

He was looking for Bellamy.

Walking into the hallway, she peaked in Bellamy’s room with Jordan on her hip to see his bed was still made.

He hadn’t come home the night before.

The sound of the door opening downstairs made her heart rate pick up suddenly.

“Bellamy!” she shouted, rushing to the stairs and peaking down into the entryway.

But it wasn’t Bellamy.

“Octavia?”

Octavia was standing at the foot of the stairs, looking up at Clarke with panic in her eyes.

“Clarke! It’s Bellamy.” she rushed up the steps, holding out a piece of paper. “He- He stayed at our place last night, but when I woke up this morning, he was gone. He left this.”

“Wha-?”

She looked down at the message.

_ O- _

_ Headed to the airport. I’ll call you when I land. _

_ Bell _

“The-” she gasped. “The airport?”

Octavia nodded furiously.

“I-” Clarke started. “I have to go.”

She handed Jordan to Octavia and started running down the stairs.

“Wait! Clarke!” she heard Octavia call from behind her so she stopped with her keys in her hand and turned to see Octavia running after her, Jordan in tow. “If you think for one second I’m going to miss this big, dramatic romantic airport confession, you are  _ delusional.” _

She grabbed the keys from Clarke’s hand and handed Jordan over once more.

“I’m driving, let’s go.”

  
  
  


* * *

  
  


Octaiva drove like a bat out of hell and told Clarke that if she got pulled over, she could take over and leave her and the police over on the side of the road.

They were just approaching the airport exit when Clarke spoke.

“I just don’t understand. Why would he leave? Without even talking to me?”

“Cause he’s a f-” she cut off, looking up at Jordan in the rearview mirror. “-a freaking idiot obviously.”

Clarke snorted.

“Nice save.”

Octavia sprung for the expensive parking and they dashed to the airport entrance, Jordan in tow. Clarke swore softly when they saw the line for security, bypassing it on their way to the departure board, looking frantically for flights to California.

There were two that still hadn’t taken off and Clarke hoped against all hopes that one of them housed Bellamy.

They purchased the two cheapest tickets available and made their way through the security line, glancing furiously at their watches as they slowly moved to the front.

The TSA agents at the checkpoint stopped them.

“Those have to come off.” he pointed at Jordan’s shoes.

Clarke’s eyes widened,

“You can’t be serious. He’s a kid!”

The man raised a perfectly unimpressed eyebrow.

“Fuck it, Clarke, just go.” Octavia said, frustrated. “I’ve got Jordan and we’re right behind you.”

Clarke turned to look at Octavia, worrying her bottom lip before nodding and rushing through the scanning machine, grabbing her shoes and hurrying to Gate 36.

She reached it, scanning the crowd, looking for a head of familiar curls.

When she didn’t see him, she ran to Gate 52, her eyes conducting the same surveillance.

She slumped over in defeat, realizing he wasn’t there.

_ He was gone. _

“Clarke!” 

Octavia rushed up behind her, Jordan bouncing on her hip.

“Where is he? Is he here?”

Clarke swallowed and shook her head, trying not to cry in front of Jordan.

Octavia sighed, her hand coming up to catch Clarke’s, squeezing tightly.

“It’s okay.” she whispered. “Let’s get you home.”

  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  


She cried softly in the front seat all the way home, her head leaning against the passenger side window.

When they made it to the house, Octavia offered to walk them in, but Clarke declined. She really wanted to go inside and forget this whole thing had happened.

She had been so ready to talk to him, to lay it all out there and be honest.

Pushing open the front door, she sat Jordan down and he immediately ran off, leaving her to turn and close the front door, locking it into place.

“Hey buddy.”

Bellamy’s voice behind her made her jump, dropping her keys to the floor. She whirled around, eyes wide as she stared at the man she’d been searching for - Sitting on the couch, holding Jordan on his lap and staring at her in confusion.

“Where’d you guys go?” he asked softly, eyes searching.

She gasped, laughing a little.

“Where- Where did  _ we  _ go?” she asked. “Bellamy. I-” she swallowed. “I thought you left for California!”

Bellamy’s eyes furrowed and he leaned over, kissing Jordan on the forehead before sitting him down on the floor.

“Clarke.” he said lowly, standing and moving toward her slowly, hands up. “I told you last night” he stopped in front of her. “There is no job in California.”

Her face fell.

“Bellamy, I told you-”

“No. Stop. Listen. Let me talk this time.” he interrupted. “There is no job in California because  _ I turned them down. _ ”

She stopped breathing, sucking in a sudden unexpected breath, not expecting his confession.

“You- You said  _ no _ .. to  _ HBO? _ ”

He burst out laughing, his teeth shining as he shook his head at her, his hands coming to rest on her upper arms.

“Yeah, Princess. I turned down HBO.” he murmured, stepping even closer. “I told them that I couldn’t leave my family and that Jordan was too young to up and move him away from everyone he knows and loves.” he sighed. “Because that would’ve been the  _ only _ way I would’ve taken the job. If the two of you were with me.”

She was almost hyperventilating at that point.

“B-But - You left Octavia that note. You went to the airport, you-”

He chuckled again.

“Yeah, I’m supposed to go to Chicago today, remember? For two days? It’s on the calendar, Clarke.”

She could feel the tears welling again, her brain frantically racing through her memories trying to make sense of how she’d missed that.

“But my flight was canceled. I’m supposed to catch another one this evening.” he looked back and forth between her eyes. “Did you really not know? That’s why I wanted to talk to you so badly yesterday. We need to talk before I leave for two days.” he sighed, rubbing her shoulders softly. “But then you were so upset, I thought it best to give you some space before I tried talking to you again. I was going to call you from the gate.”

She was laughing now, even as she continued to cry.

“I went to the airport.” she chuckled, wiping her tears away. “That’s where we were. I-” she looked up into his eyes. “I was going to stop you from leaving.”

Bellamy’s eyes widened for a moment before he smiled a brilliant smile, bringing her into his embrace, his arms wrapped tightly around her.

“I’m not going anywhere, Princess. I promise.” he pulled away, cupping her face in his hands. “I’ve somehow  _ finally _ convinced you to give me a chance  _ years _ after fucking up that first night. And then  _ again _ at your graduation when I thought you’d moved on. I’d be an  _ idiot _ to fuck it up again.” he leaned in kissing her deeply before pulling back. “You and Jordan - You’re it for me, Clarke.”

She smiled, her hands resting on his shoulders as she struggled to still her racing heart beat.

“I’m sorry.” she murmured. “I’m sorry I wasted all of this time. I’m sorry I was so stubborn.” she leaned up, kissing him again before suddenly pushing away. “Wait. What do you mean my graduation? Moving on?”

He sighed, stepping out of her embrace and placing his hands on her waist.

“I-uh.” He cleared his throat. “I thought that you came back from London and had decided to date that Atom kid. You were together at the bar and then at the party and I-I didn’t take it well. I thought that once you came home,  _ we  _ would be together.”

Her mind raced, remembering that week and realizing how it had seemed to him.

“It wasn’t until afterwards that Harper-” he swallowed. “Harper told me what I’d done. But by then, I’d lost you. I’ve spent years trying to get you to trust me again.”

She smiled sadly, brushing his hair away from his face.

“I’m sorry.” she said again. “Have I mentioned that?”

He chuckled, his hands squeezing her waist tightly.

“I’m sorry too.” he whispered. “If I hadn’t freaked out that night at graduation, this whole thing could’ve been avoided.”

Clarke sighed, smiling sadly.

“Harper.” she whispered. “She was right. All this time.”

She leaned down, resting her cheek on his chest, feeling his breathing move his chest beneath her ear.

“She knew.” she explained. “She never doubted it. Even with Jordan. She knew that we could do it.” she leaned back, looking up at him again. “Together.”

He nodded and leaned down, kissing her sweetly once again.

“She did.” he agreed. “And she was right.”

Clarke laughed lightly, her mind filled with visions of Harper’s knowing face.

“She always was.” she admitted. “It was her superpower.”

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I suck at one shots.
> 
> I'll get better, I promise.
> 
> One day my one shots will not end up being almost 30,000 words.
> 
> Anywho.
> 
> My next fic is going to be another novel-length fic along the vein of A Greater Pursuit - Lots of action, adventure, and.... *Drum Roll* FANTASY.
> 
> That's right. I'm entering the world of Fantasy and world-building.
> 
> I may be trying something new with updates as well, so stay tuned.
> 
> If you want updates on my posting schedule, I always communicate story updates on my Twitter @MallidayWrites.
> 
> Come chat with me!
> 
> Over the next couple of weeks, I will be posting teasers to my Fantasy fic - Can't wait to get it started!
> 
> Until next time...
> 
> -Mally

**Author's Note:**

> At long last, chapter one of RomComREMIX: Life As We Know It Edition!
> 
> What one EARTH happened in the past? 
> 
> You all know how much I love my mysteries and this RomCom offered an opportunity to add some past mystique, and that's something I'm just too weak to resist!
> 
> However, it IS a romcom so, of course, there will be lots of bickering and surface level misunderstandings and it won't be NEARLY as deep as say.. "Mindless Dreaming."
> 
> Also, it's a pic written by ME, so of course it will end with a happy Bellarke ending! 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed chapter one :D 
> 
> There should be four chapters to this shindig and they will post on consecutive Sundays so chapter two will be coming next week!
> 
> Until then...
> 
> -Mally


End file.
